Donald Trump is seeking to be elected as the President of the United States of America.
That is an actual, real life, no fooling, correct English sentence.
Though he’d long threatened to do so, Trump finally threw his hat into the ring earlier this morning (Australian time) in a grand announcement ceremony conducted from the lobby of his own Trump Towers building in New York City.
Descending an escalator inside his own building, Trump then made a grand speech outlaying his goals for the campaign and Presidency, including pledging to build a giant wall along the Mexican border to keep immigrants out (that he would make Mexico pay for), bemoaning the state of American manufacturing, stating that the US has always lost to Japan (conveniently forgetting World War II in the process), and re-asserting the fact to everyone that he is, indeed, very rich.
He also promised to tax China “until they behave,” become the “greatest jobs President that God ever created,” and very sternly vowed to never enter a bicycle race.
Hell, he’s already attracted serious backlash after Neil Young didn’t take terribly kindly to Trump using “Rockin’ in the Free World” as the announcement’s pseudo theme song.
If you’ve been out and about today and seen a bunch of baggy-eyed, dishevelled, poorly dressed people openly weeping in the street, it’s just comedy writers everywhere being literally overcome with joy.
And it didn’t even take 24 hours for the punches to start rolling in.
America’s chief political lampoonists Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert had an absolute field day with the announcement – despite the latter not actually having a TV show on the air at the moment, and the former a mere handful of months shy of leaving his.
First came Stewart, who with giddy joy thanked Trump for turning his last few weeks on air as host of The Daily Show into a “comedy hospice.”
And then Colbert, who went full Trump with a hair impression for the ages.
See, this is the difference between Australian and American politics. Because at least in America when bafflingly infuriating things happen in the political sphere, at the very least it’s also really goddamned funny.
Hell, even the opposing Democratic National Committee took time out of their day to throw a little shade.
Our statement on Trump: pic.twitter.com/8I8ilMzwUh
— Holly! Shulman (@HollyShulman) June 16, 2015
The idea of Donald Trump being President is only half a day old and it’s already the worst thing in the world and I cannot get enough of it.
Photo: Christopher Gregory via Getty Images.
