Alright, fess up: have you ever thought about applying for ‘The Bachelor‘ / ‘The Bachelorette’?
You probably already suspected that the audition process is tough, and personal as shit. This is a dating show, where producers influence your sanity to make you do dumb shit on TV like cry when the dude you’ve met twice picks another girl he’s dating to whisk away in a helicopter. They need to know you, so they can break you.
Applications are now open for the next season of ‘The Bachelorette’, and if you’re game, there’s a highly invasive, 13-page questionnaire you have to get through before you can even BEGIN to think about auditions.
(Side note: this application is for ‘The Bachelorette’, but it looks like they’re looking for both ~the~ Bachelorette and the contestants. It also looks to be applicable for either the male or female-skewed version.)
The questionnaire starts off incredibly beige, but also by asking the types of questions you’d walk out of in a job application.
Height / weight?
What makes you happy / sad?
When was the last time you cried?
But then it starts getting deeply, confrontingly personal:
Have you ever cheated on a partner? How many people (men and women) have you slept with? Do you suffer from a diagnosed mental illness? Are your parents still together? Why did you split up from your ex? Have you ever made a sex tape? Does someone have access to your nudes? How did you last get your heart broken? Have you ever been in love? If not, why not? Do you want marriage and babies? Would you be interested in an open relationship? Are you on Tinder? What’s been the most traumatic experience of your life so far? Why are you applying? Have you applied before? Have you applied to any other reality show? What is your deepest, darkest secret?
Honestly, that last one is only slightly exaggerated.
