There has been a lot of sass mouthing from critics since the
release of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, with most reviews touching on drag-factor caused by the decision to split the story between three films. Which, to be fair, is also to do with it being the first film – necessitating a certain amount of introduction and set-up for the films to come. All in all though, the issues raised by critics did turn out to be pretty spot on.
As is often the case though, if you love something enough you can look past certain flaws and just allow yourself to be swept up into riding the tidal wave of emotion There and Back Again to the cinema. A question: are you this (see below) excited to go and see it? #REVIEWSBEDAMNED
a) YES
Good. Go see it.
b) No
Firstly;
Secondly, here are 5 Reasons Why You Should Be:
. SFX
Are. impressive. Gollum, man. He is sharp. SAH MANI PIXELS.
Andy Serkis, as always, did a beyond excellent job and managed to be equal measures of !KAWAII! and terrifying. The scene where Bilbo happens across Gollum’s cave and Gollum is all like ‘Leave (Get Out)’ and Bilbo is all like ‘lol we’re on an adventure to get rich or die tryin’ but ima steal your jewellery and then let’s do some riddles’ is a stand out.
. Every time the LOTR score plays, your hearty will hurty. In a sxc way. It takes you back to the emotional roller coaster of The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)/The Two Towers (2002)/The Return of the King (2003). Which has been described as emotional blackmail on the part of Jackson, but you know, the heart wants what the heart wants.
. Cate Blanchett you ethereal jerk. ARE YOU AN ACTUAL IRL ELF? TELLMERIGHTNOW!?!@>!>
The film would be worth watching for the cast alone, returning players and new additions alike give wonderful performances. CLAPCLAPCLAP etcetera for one and all. There is some obligatory (The Hobbit is more playful and not as dark as LOTR, okay?!) cheese though and there are times when it’s hard to take it 4 srs. As if the actors’ extreme levels of psyched to be in Middle Earth conjures thoughts of small children in their first school play. No, stop waving at your mother! CON-CEN-TRATE.
Hai Brit!
. JUDGING JACKSON
Did you know Peter Jackson is Sir Peter Jackson now? 
After Guillermo del Toro suddenly stepped down from directing the films due to “scheduling conflicts” it’s fair to say that we all assumed Peter had gone around to his house and threatened to gut him like a fish just so he could super casually slide his not-so-portly-anymore derriere back into the director’s chair. We see you, Peter.
We see you.
Jackson’s first decision was to squeeze it out to three films. Good one, dickhead. Also, Y U no make The Hobbit before Lord of the Rings? As much as he did an excellent job on LOTR and has done great things for New Zealand film blah blah blah, he has done some dumbs when it comes to H. It would have been really interesting to see what G del T would have done with the films, like, ima let you finish Jackson but Pan’s Labyrinth is one of the best films of all time. So it’s worth going to see it just so you can come out, have lengthy Jackson vs Toro conversations, and just generally critique the balls off of Sir Peter Jackson. Tall Poppy, bitch!
. It is just so nice to be back in Middle Earth. You know?
Not
unlike the people who got totally slitties after watching Avatar
because they would never get to live on Pandora and have sexual
relations with blue natives, you are definitely suffering some level
of Middle Earth withdrawal. You may not even realise you are, but you will once you’re back.
Mmmm, you smell that? It’s fresh Shire air. Breathe it in deep, my friend.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is coming to a cinema near you on the 26th of December, 2012.
