Look, listen. Look and listen. Georgia Hardstark and Karen Killgariff have been very busy bees – between keeping up their comedy/true crime podcast, My Favourite Murder, launching a podcast network, and touring around the world to the delight of murderinos everywhere, they’ve also somehow managed to pull time out of their asses to write a memoir.

How do they do it? I barely have time to scratch my ass let alone WRITE AN ENTIRE MEMOIR.

Regardless, the memoir – titled Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered – is due out in May 2019 but because we’re all needy binches who MUST have a little treatie RIGHT NOW, the MFM gals have treated us to an excerpt from the book.

You know how sometimes people write exactly how they talk? Legit, some of us here at PEDESTRIAN.TV absolutely write how we talk so if you ever get to hear us talk then you’ll never read another yarn the same way. Anyway, Karen and Georgia do this too.

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Detailing how they met and how MFM was birthed into the world like the absolute monster of a thing it is today (good monster, like Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc.) and their decision to go forth and write a book, Georgie and Karen let Vulture have a peep just a teeny little morsel of what’s to come next year.

Read on below and holy shit sign me the FUCK up I need this book in my life ASAP thank you very much. Someone let Steven know. STEVEN!!!

Normally, we’d be talking to you through our podcast, where it’s all microphones and couches and air. But now we’ve gotten paper and ink involved and things have become rather highbrow. That’s right, this scrappy little true crime-comedy podcast that you’ve been sneak-listening to at your temp job has somehow figured out a way to transition itself into the world of … (SPINNING IN A CIRCLE AS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC SWELLS) … literature. We have gone from living inside your headphones to pouring ourselves out onto the page like a couple of Edna St. Vincent Millays. We invite you to drink deeply of us. We’ll get you good and fucked up.

Oh, you’ve never heard of us before? Sure, we understand. Podcasting is a relatively new thing. Let us introduce ourselves. We are the hosts of My—what’s that, you say? You’ve never listened to a podcast before and you’re not sure how they work and you don’t feel like getting involved? Gotcha. You’re not alone. But before you run off and buy some other book with “sexy” in the title, let us tell you a little story. It’s about two gals who were living passably fine lives in Los Angeles in the late 2010s. One was named Georgia, and she—to oversimplify both of their incredibly complex and varied careers—was a Cooking Channel host, and Karen, the other one, was a sitcom writer. So, one Halloween, they’re at a party together and they start chatting about a then new HBO series called The Staircase, which tells the story of a man going to trial for the murder of his wife. They realize they’re both obsessed and are thrilled to have found someone else to talk to about it. So they do. They talk and talk. Some people join in, some dip back out, and soon the kitchen’s clear of everyone except the two women. So they decide to meet for lunch. And they talk even more. Hours and hours of coffee and talking. The next time they see each other, Georgia suggests they start a true crime podcast. Why not? They both already had podcasts of their own. They knew what it would entail. So they agreed to give it a try. CUT TO: hundreds of episodes, millions of listeners, sold-out international tour dates, and a book deal. It’s kind of a feel-good story. It feels really good to us, anyway.

OK, now that we’ve caught everyone up, let’s get back to the part about the book. We put a lot of effort into its creation, and for it, we have suffered mightily. For the past year and a half, we have been travelers set adrift on foreign seas aboard the HMS Write-a-Book. We set out impetuously, blindly, unfamiliar with the charted course, unsure what the food at the buffet would be like, afraid the other passengers wouldn’t be nice to us. We were anxious. We were seasick. We told ourselves, “Let’s just try to get through this metaphorical book boat journey in one piece. Be cool. Act natural. No, don’t whistle, stupid! That’s the opposite of natural. Why does everyone think whistling indicates relaxation? It’s literally one of the weirdest things you can do in public without breaking the law. Blowing spurts of air out of your pursed lips to produce a raspy little song like some sad bird impersonator. No discernable tune, no clear plan. Just kind of a long, vocalized exhale through big kissy lips. What better way to let the world know you’re at ease.” Whoops, sorry. We got carried away there. BECAUSE THAT, DEAR FRIENDS, IS THE POWER OF LITERATURE.

And if you’re hungry for more funny women talking murder and mystery, make sure you check out (like and subscribe!) to our new podcast, All Aussie Mystery Hour.

Source: Vulture
Image: My Favourite Murder