Before this morning I would’ve told you that nothing surprises me anymore! I’ve written about a lot of (utterly cursed) things during my time at Pedestrian – you name it, I’ve probably written about it. But oh my god, that all changed when I watched the trailer for Netflix’s newest dating show. It’s called Sexy Beasts, and I – I don’t know. I have no words.

Sexy Beasts is the love child of The Masked Singer and Love Is Blind, where real-life singles put on elaborate makeup and prosthetics to put “true blind-date chemistry to the test”.

It is exactly what it sounds like – hell

What infuriates me the most about this show is that people will absolutely watch the shit out of it. Why? Because LOOK AT THIS.

Look at this terrifying dolphin-head person. This is what I’m going to see now in the corner of my room when I suffer from sleep paralysis. Dolphin person will haunt me in my dreams. Dolphin person has been burned into my retinas.

But, I want to know if Dolphin finds love now!

Sexy Beasts
Good LORD.

Just imagine signing up for a Netflix dating show, thinking you were applying for something like Too Hot To Handle, and instead you get this. 

The trailer is… interesting, to say the least. Apart from the dolphin person, singles have also been dressed up as, uh, aliens (?), assorted animals, and the devil. I also just spotted a scarecrow.

Interspecies pairings aside, Sexy Beasts does look like any other dating show. It’s similar to Love Is Blind in the way that after each single chooses someone they’re keen on, they reveal themselves to each other.

Have at it. Godspeed.

Sexy Beasts – I hate the name so much – premieres July 21st on Netflix Australia at approximately 5pm.

I really, really don’t think I can watch this one sober.

P.S. Of course the people underneath the makeup and prosthetics are conventionally attractive. How convenient.

Image: Netflix