The Golden Globes is typically a time for Hollywood to pat itself on the back and roast the hell out of each other. The host usually takes aim at the celebrities sitting right in front of them. But in the wake of multiple sexual harassment and assault scandals within the Hollywood industry (and beyond), this isn’t a typical year.
The 2018 host, Seth Meyers, used his opening monologue to speak about the ongoing scandals, and when it came to Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, didn’t hold back one bit.
“Ladies and remaining gentlemen,” he said, right off the bat. “It’s been the year of big little lies and get out… and has also been the year of the television series Big Little Lies and the film Get Out. There’s a new era underway, and I can tell, ’cause it’s been years since a white man was this nervous in Hollywood.”
He shouted out to every future awards host watching him for the playbook of how to navigate this new unfamiliar territory, watching him “like the first dog they shot into outta space.”
He continued: “Male nominees, this is the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.”
He then took aim at Weinstein, or rather, “the elephant that isn’t in the room.”
“They tried to get a woman to host this show,” he said. “They said, ‘Hey, would you like to come and be judged by the most powerful men in Hollywood’. They said ‘Sure, where is it?’ ‘It’s at a hotel.’ And they said, ‘Nah,’ and now I’m your host.”
He continued: “Harvey Weinstein isn’t here tonight, because I’ve heard rumours that he’s crazy and difficult to work with, but don’t worry – he’ll be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person booed during the in memorium.” The crowd gasped. “Yeah, that’s what it’ll sound like.”
Next up, Spacey, referencing his recent firing from House of Cards, and the recast of his All The Money In The World role with actor Christopher Plummer.
“House of Cards. Is Christopher Plummer available for that, too? I hope he can do a southern accent because Kevin Spacey sure couldn’t.” The crowd made a noise. “Oh, was that too mean?” continued Meyers in a southern accent. “To Kevin Spacey?”
But Woody Allen, despite no new allegations coming forward, wasn’t left out of the general roasting.
“When I first heard about a naive young woman falling in love with a disgusting sea monster, I thought, ‘Oh man, not another Woody Allen movie’.”
It’s light, and not exactly using Allen’s noted creepy behaviour and alleged abuse as the punchline, but it’s still something.
Next, Meyers tapped a number of celebs sitting in the audience to assist with his punchlines, because “who wants to hear from another straight white male?”
“The Golden Globes turned 75 this year,” he said, and Jessica Chastain continued, “But the actress that plays its wife is still only 32.”
“Call Me By Your Name is nominated for Best Motion Picture. It’s a gay coming of age film…” said Meyers, and Billy Eichner continued, “And Kevin Spacey said, ‘You lost me at ‘of age”.”
(Meyers reminded the audience that they thought his joke about Spacey’s southern accent was too mean.)
“Insecure creator Issa Rae currently has three projects in development with HBO…” Meyers continued, to which Rae replied, “And three projects is where they think I’m from.”
“According to recent articles, only 5 percent of speaking roles in Hollywood go to Asian actors,” he said, and Hong Chao, breakout star of Downsizing, replied, “But those numbers might be off since a white person did the math.”
And then Amy Poehler got into the absolute swing of things, all with a straight face. “Do you wanna do one?” Meyers asked her.
“Yeah I’ll do one but I don’t need your help,” she replied.
“I do the setup and you do the punchline,” he explained.
“Oh, are you telling me how it works?” she asked. “Is this mansplaining?” She picked up a glass. “Reclaiming my wine.” ICONIC.
Excellent mono @sethmeyers with a great assist from Amy Poehler
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) January 8, 2018
Meyers didn’t just turn his attention to sexual predators in Hollywood; he took aim at the President of the United States, too.
“A string of three words that could not have been better designed to infuriate our president: H0llywood Foreign Press,” he said. “The only name that would make him angrier would be the Hillary Mexico Salad Association.”
Seth Meyers: “A string of three words that could not have been better designed to infuriate our president: Hollywood Foreign Press. The only name that would make him angrier would be the Hillary Mexico Salad Association.” #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/08k4GtI4mH
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) January 8, 2018
He added: “In 2011, I told some jokes about our current president at the White House Correspondants Dinner, and some people say that inspired him to run for office. I just want to say: Oprah, you will never be president. You do not have what it takes. And Hanks. Where’s Hanks? You will never be vice president.”
OPRAH WINFREY & TOM HANKS 2020. God, someone, please – make this happen.
Check out all the red carpet fashion here, with everyone in black to support Time’s Up.
