Unless we’re referring to a home video featuring my Greek uncle speaking with his belly button; the film for which Sandra Bullock has just won a “Razzie”, also named All About Steve, really has a “straight- to- DVD” feel about it. With an approval rating of only 6% on RottenTomatoes.com, (not that they are ever a great source of information), I wouldn’t predict anything more, for a film about a crossword puzzle writer, played by Bullock, who stalks a man named Steve. The only fun part, sounds like near the end of the film, when her character falls down a mineshaft. Oh and Bradley Cooper is in it.
[UPDATE: Sandra Bullock just won the Oscar for Best Actress In A Leading Role!]
The problem is, I’m starting to think that more people have seen my home video than this movie. This is most likely what Bullock herself was thinking when she entered the stage of Barnsdall Gallery Theatre in Hollywood to accept her embarrassing award with a trolley full of All About Steve DVDs. She then announced that everyone in the audience could take home a copy of the offending film, re-watch it, and re-think their decision. If they agree that it isn’t all that bad, she would, “come back next year … [and] give back the Razzie”.
Bullock joked that she had been given the award only because she had threatened to receive it in person if she won: “I said I would show up – and then I miraculously won!”
Um, Sandra, I love you, but your win isn’t “miraculous”. There’s a reason why Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep don’t win this shit.
Then she joked (it definitely wasn’t funny) that she was ready to go through the script of the movie, which she’d also brought along. “I’m willing to go page-by-page through my dialogue, so we could be here a while. I will read it like the way I read it in the film and then anyone who wants to give me a line reading of how I could have done it better. So we could do this till about four o’clock in the morning.”
Oh dear God, no. Sandra, come here, sit down, let me explain that the problem wasn’t in the delivery.
It’s amusing though, that this same actress is also nominated for a Best Actress Oscar, at a ceremony she will attend only 24hours later. If Sandra Bullock does win an Oscar today, this will be the first time (and probably last) that an actress has been publicly acknowledged as the best and the worst in one year. I mean, Nicole Kidman does it all the time, but no-one cares.
When you think about it, it’s America for fuck sake, of course The Blind Side, a movie about a great American football team, was going to earn $250 million at the box office, and a film about cross- word puzzles, desperation and stalking was going to flop. People want to see fantasy, not reality.