Ryan Lochte, Despo To Shake Rio Scandal, Is Doing ‘Dancing with the Stars’

Everyone in the United States of America knows that when you fuck up really, really, really bad, and need to get back to being loved and adored by the general population, there’s only one failsafe way you can do it.
It’s called ‘Dancing with the Stars’. 
Yup, it’s PR rehab 101, and after American swimmer Ryan Lochte‘s disastrous lie during the Olympics, he needs some serious rehab for his public image. 
ICYMI: Lochte told media he was pulled over and mugged at gunpoint by ‘fake cops’ during the Rio Olympics, which a judge called bullshit on and seized his passport. 
He then admitted that he’d actually gone on a huge bender with three other swimmers, and got told off by a security guard in the Barra da Tijuca neighborhood because he and his fellow three grown-ass men had pissed all over a petrol station. 
They vandalised a sign, and kicked down the door, too. So rather than ‘being mugged’, they’d actually been politely asked to pay for the damage they’d caused. *slow clap*
So, everyone’s real pissed at Lochte. One, because he’s a grown ass adult and trashing property isn’t fucking cute, and two, because he tried to cover it up with a fake mugging. He even lost all his sponsors. 
So, ‘Dancing with the Stars‘ it is. Washington Post even spoke of the infamous ‘DWTS’ desperate PR move:

“Dancing with the Stars is the ideal safe space for scandal-ridden celebrities, or more specifically for stars that want to change the conversation.

It’s just good old-fashioned image management; just ask former contestants like Paula Deen, Gary Busey or David Hasselhoff, best known for controversies or erratic behaviour.”
In the meantime, Brazilian authorities have confirmed that the swimmer with be summoned give testimony before the Justice Department – apparently he’s not obligated to attend, but if he doesn’t go he won’t be able to lodge a plea bargain if he’s charged. 

‘Dancing with the Stars’ will launch in the US on September 12. 

Source: Washington Post