Deadline has today confirmed that noted rabbit lover and master of historic non-regional diction, Russell Crowe, will play OG animal custodian, Noah, in Darren Aronofsky’s secular retelling of Noah’s Ark. The watery Biblical epic follows the writer/director’s ‘sit in the dark and watch Natalie Portman slowly go crazy’ psychological drama, Black Swan, and is slated to start production in July, somewhat postponed by the unavailability of Christian Bale, who was initially offered the role but pulled out after committing to back-to-back Terrence Malick films (Lawless and Knight of Cups).

“Since I was a kid, I have been moved and inspired by the story of Noah and his family’s journey,” Aronofsky explained of the project last year. “The imaginations of countless generations have sparked to this epic story of faith. It’s my hope that I can present a window into Noah’s passion and perseverance for the silver screen.”

With that in mind we hope he’s taken notes from Ricky Gervais’ routine on the tale’s most egregious plot holes. The most prescient being – how fucking big was this boat?

Main Image by: AFP via Getty