15 Downright Cooked Christmas Cards That We Absolutely Won’t Be Giving Gran Come December 25

Christmas cards
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Sending out Christmas cards might seem like something typically reserved for mums. She’ll pull out the special occasion stationery, pour herself a big glass of pinot and start to get sloppy with her cursive once she’s ten letters deep. She’ll ask you if the postman should receive a card from the family, you’ll say no… yada yada.

We’re not much for mush around here, so we’re not big on the cutesy cartoon snowman type cards. We’re more about finding those wildly inappropriate holiday cards that would likely get you fired if you sent one to your boss. Hey, if you’re going to dip a toe in the festive waters, you may as well go balls to the wall, right?

From cards that are a little bit odd to ones that would make the heartiest of sailors blush, we’ve covered all bases here. To anyone who’s been eager to unleash their inner grinch this festive season – this is how it’s done. Y’know, tis’ the season to be a dickhead and all that.

Christmas cards

A WAP Christmas Greeting Card ($3.03) 

Christmas cards

Merry Cagemas Greeting Card ($3.03)

Merry Christmas Vine Greeting Card ($3.03)

Mean Girls Have A Fetch Christmas Greeting Card ($3.15) 

When I Think About You I Touch My Elf Card ($2.77) 

Festive As Fuck Greeting Card ($6.10)

Christmas cards

Sit On Your Face Card ($6.10)

Tis’ The Season Card ($22.90 for a pack of 6)

Baby Yoda Card ($6.65)

Christmas cards

Merry F@!%ing Christmas Gordon Ramsay Card ($7.30)

2020 Holiday Card ($4.75)

Christmas cards

Tinsel Tits Greeting Card ($5.23)

Christmas In Quarantine Card ($13.19) 

Donald Trump Eggnog Card ($15.66)

Merry Christmas Motherfucker Card ($13.81)

Even if you’re not the type to usually send out festive cards – you can’t help it when they’re this good. Happy bloody holidays, everyone.