Since confirming that they are, in fact, an item, Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian have been blessing us with steamy snap after steamy snap and Instagram has never been hornier.
Here, I’m gonna rank all their recent snaps from least to most horny because, I mean, why the fuck not?
Coming in as the least horny snap is this cute one of the pair cuddling by a fire. It’s a sweet, wholesome declaration of their love. Nothing suss at all.
Next up we have the pair walking off into the distance (read: Kourt’s massive-ass backyard).
Despite the fact that she’s wearing Mickey Mouse ears, the concept of the pair holding hands and walking away together, particularly with Travis’ shirtless, is a tad hornier than the last pic.
This fast-paced vid shows the pair embracing at a ski resort, presumably by the fire, over mulled wine.
Nothing says horny like a lush ski chalet, and given the footage is dark, blurred, and we can barely see their faces, I’m sure this was meant to suggest all kinds of thirsty things.
Bare with me on this, I know you’re probs thinking ‘How the fuck does a pic of them holding hands rank so high on the horny scale?’
Just wait, my friend. You’ll understand in due course.
Boom. Full on pashing on main. We’re getting hornier, people.
From a casual couch kissy snap to a blurred, higher angle shot, complete with a sensual red light effect. It’s v. red hot.
Oooh boi, here it is, the photo that inspired this yarn: he’s shirtless, she’s in a bikini, and they’re both in the middle of the desert with no sign of water around (?).
Have a look at where those hands are placed and you’ll see why this is our runner-up for BONK, go to horny jail.
Aaaaand without much further adieu, here’s numero uno on the horny scale. That time Travis posted a video of Kourtney Kardashian sucking Travis’ thumb to celebrate her birthday (as you do).
The video radiated intense horny energies and if there was a horny jail, both Travis AND Kourtney would be yeeted directly behind bars, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
What makes this, and all aforementioned footage featuring fingers, hands, and feet, even hornier is the fact that it’s likely a fetish for the pair, as is their need to share this kind of content on social media.
The New York Post published an article where an ‘erotic educator’ by the name of Taylor Sparks surmised that “it could be a kink.”
Since the video was posted for the world to see (and I mean that literally given the amount of Instagram followers these two collectively have), Sparks reckons that it might lean a “little bit toward exhibitionism, having a little bit of sexual gratification that people are seeing this happen.”
She says that either way, “it’s quite normal.”
The Post also spoke to psychotherapist and sex therapist Dulcinea Pitagora, Ph.D., who revealed that “fingers have an inherent connection with sensuality and arousal,” adding that “given their high density of nerve endings, and how they’re very often used during sex.”
It could be what’s called cheirophilia, a hand fetish, meaning that they “have to” touch (or in this case suck) someone’s hand to get aroused. Sparks says that it’s “lower on the totem pole,” as in less common, than other popular fetish targets, such as feet.
I’d like to close this yarn by clarifying that I’m absolutely not judging these crazy kids. Quite the opposite. I love that they’re embracing their sensuality and living their best horny lives. Power to you, boos.
Matty Galea is the Entertainment Editor at Pedestrian who also dabbles in woo-woo stuff like astrology and crystals and has been penning horoscopes since the start of his career. He also Tweets about pop culture and astrology and posts spicy content on Instagram.
