Smiley emojis. They’re one of the most used emojis in the entire lot, and are often used to convey happiness and joy. However, this simply isn’t the case. Some of them are murderous. Villainous. Carry about them some ominous portent. I don’t trust them.

Given that there are so many smile emojis, seven all up, I have decided to rank them all from least to most likely to murder me in my sleep. And to be fair I’m not even exaggerating with some of these guys, the back half definitely have blood on their hands.

Now without further ado, let’s get this show on the road. If you are a smile emoji reading this, please do not kill me.

1. This innocent guy

Wouldn’t hurt a goddamn fly. He’s just here for a good time, and definitely a long time too. This emoji is the purest form of joy, the most excellent of the happy emojis. I support all he does in life and wish him all the best. Godspeed, king.

2. This smug mf

Sure, he looks cheeky af but that’s just because he knows how to have a good time. He may pull a prank once every blue moon but murder to him is an abstract concept. He’s also hella into astrology, and I dig that.

3. This laughing legend

He’s happy, perhaps too happy, and I kind of love it. If you want to use a laugh emoji, this is your guy. He’s loyal, reliable, and he’ll only cheat on you once. But he will apologise and that’s what matters. Definitely won’t murder you, which is always a plus.

4. Clowny creep

We’re in murder territory now. Why did this guy hide my body in the back of a car then tell my family and friends that I am happy and alive? I don’t like him one bit, and I will not be getting any sleep while he is around.

5. Open eyes laughing guy

Eyes wide open, black as the night, and laughing away. Evil, insidious, and horrifying. I wouldn’t trust him to even pay me money. Get rid of this guy immediately.

6. The one that got away (with murder)

This emoji is the kind of criminal who gets away with the perfect crime. Menace behind a smile. The pure epitome of psychotic terror. Delete him.

7. Hide

Even now I feel like he is watching me. If you know somebody who uses this emoji, please tell them that you have sufficient evidence that they are, in fact, a killer.