Pls Feel Free To Bask In Matty J & Laura’s Big Debut As A Couple

Well, surprising no-one, Matty J went ahead and picked the girl who looked most like old flame Georgia Love on tonight’s Bachelor finale.

In fact, it seems likely that he picked her even before the series started, what with all the rumours that they’d been secretly dating before filming, and the fact that they were definitely both skiing on the same slopes at the same time back in July…

ANYWAY. Now they’re ~officially~ an item, and as such have gifted us with their couple debut in the form of a very brief and totally fine video.

We mean it: it’s totally fine. Laura looks very brown, you can see that big shiny ring glinting on her hand, Matty is as blandly perky as we’ve come to expect from him – it’s fine.

It’s also just… really not flying with a lot of viewers, who seem to think they’ve been taken for a bit of a ride.

Except you already knew each other before the show… ✋????????

— Mish (@_Misjhhh) September 14, 2017

Your story on how you guys met?? You met at a party before the bachelor even started stop lying girl

— ????Kari???? (@Karinaiacono) September 14, 2017

pic.twitter.com/nZyyBXgbny

— Jenny Yu (@jennyflaneur) September 14, 2017

But we DIDNT learn the story of how you met… Or did I miss the prequel?? pic.twitter.com/nLFxwvur0c

— Caithlin (@caith1in) September 14, 2017

Over on Facebook, the picture isn’t any more pretty: people are cranky as hell about this damn reality TV not living up to its name. What’s next? You’re going to tell us Stars In Their Eyes isn’t a portal to a time-warping dimension that transforms British housewives into Celine Dion?

Stars In Their LIES, more like it

Aside from all the disillusionment and disgruntlement over Matty & Laura’s illicit pre-show shenanigans, there’s something much more serious bothering us about this video: that it’s almost impossible to stop thinking about how much more interesting, magnetic and watchable this couple could be if, say, Tara were the one in front of the camera right now.

We’re fine. We’re totally, totally fine.