Wedding planning can be stressful and can bring out the micro-managing monster in the best of us, but in this day and age, you have to think really carefully before you fire off a passive aggressive email to a bridesmaid, knowing full well that shit will probably end up all over the internet within seconds.
This was the case with Courtney Duffy, an American MBA student who tweeted at JetBlue asking for a refund on her airfare after receiving a nightmare email asking her to “relinquish” her bridesmaid duties at a friend’s upcoming wedding, and put her outfit in the mail.
The email, from a bride-to-be named Alexandra, begins in a cheery enough tone – “I’m so glad to hear you booked flights!” before taking a sudden left turn. “I have a massive favor to ask you, though – and this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to ask anyone – but I need to ask you to relinquish your duties as a bridesmaid.”
It continues, as the exclamation marks ratchet up:
“When I asked you, I was really hoping that you could be a part of this whole thing – the bachelorette trip,at least the weekend, prep and the full night of the event … the whirlwind nature of what your travel has become just won’t work with the duties as a party member. I am so, so sorry!!”
“Please don’t feel you’re letting me down,” the email continues, before the bride says there is a “possibility” someone else might be able to step into the bridesmaid role, and asks her friend to send her jumpsuit in the mail (“I’ll Venmo you the postage and the cost”).
Courtney clearly wasn’t feeling the too-upbeat tone of the email, and shared it with JetBlue, saying “I am laughing & crying & must avoid this wedding at all costs.”
Now, yeah, I can see both sides to this. If the bride wants to have a super organised wedding where everything runs down to the second and everyone’s attention is on her at all times, that’s her prerogative. Also, the type of friend who shares your email with a bunch of strangers instead of just calling or texting you maybe isn’t the type of friend you want in the first place.
On the other hand, it seems like Courtney had to jump through a lot of hoops to get to the wedding in the first place, and being demoted in the friend hierarchy – by email, no less – and replaced with another, more compliant and subservient bridesmaid is a bit of a kick in the teeth.
Courtney later Tweeted again, thanking JetBlue for providing a refund and adding “weddings have gotten totally out of control – this is about more than just an email. I’m hoping this thread reminds future lovebirds and bridal parties to keep their feet on the ground.”