There are three types of people in the world: People who think Ouija Boards are bullshit, people who believe they’re portals to the spirit realm and so they refuse to play with them, and people who believe they’re portals to the spirit realm and so they play with them frequently ‘coz they ain’t scared of shit.
I am the latter.
I have owned a Ouija Board for about 10 years now. Not a freaky deaky old school-looking one. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Mine is a glow in the dark one, created by Parker Brothers, the iconic board game brand that brought you the likes of Monopoly, Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit.
Not all that scary looking, right?
Well, contrary to what horror films would have you believe, a Ouija Board doesn’t need to be dug up from the 1900s to work.
In fact, I have heard stories of folks literally drawing the numbers and letters onto a sheet of cardboard and crafting a makeshift planchette (that’s witch lingo for the pointer) and still swearing that it called forth a spirit.
So kid’s toy or no, this board defs has a connection to the spirit realm and I intend to make contact.
At this point you’re probably wondering: ‘Is this bloke a mad man? Why would anyone who believes in the power of the board voluntarily toy with it?’
Well, because I don’t use it as a slumber party prank, I use it with respect and reverence and I am equipped and armed with sage and Holy Water should anything go awry.
me @ evil demons
I’ve exhausted every movie, film and arts and craft activity during iso so I figure, what the heck, why not whip out the Ouija Board for the first time in years and give it a go.
Late one night, I surround my apartment with candles and incense to set the mood. I remove the board from its packaging and it glows green.
I place both hands on the planchette and move it around the board a few times – kinda like kicking the tires of a new car. I close my eyes and think good thoughts, then speak the following words aloud:
“Is there anyone here? If any spirits are around, show me a sign.”
I continue chanting variations of these, trying to call forth only benevolent spirits.
This goes on for a good 45 minutes and the planchette has not moved. However, a breeze extinguishes several candles on my table, which sounds totally normal, except for the fact that all doors and windows are closed. So where the FUCK did the breeze come from???
I reignite them and continue chanting with my eyes closed. I open them to see a swarm of at least 5 mosquitos swirling around the candle. According to paranormal research, swarming insects are a sign of demonic activity. Cool.
The final straw that ends my seance is the door to my bedroom creaking open, even though it was completely shut. At this point I’d also like to point out that I live in a fairly old apartment near Kings Cross and if you’ve seen the Underbelly series, you’ll know this place has a rich but haunting history.
I now decide my mission has been accomplished as I’ve successfully freaked myself the fuck out. I move the planchette to ‘goodbye’, switch the lights on, and sage my apartment like there’s no tomorrow.
All in all an intriguing experience – let’s just hope I haven’t totally haunted my apartment during iso. It will certainly make for a great follow up yarn to this one though, won’t it?
