All I care about at the Oscars is the fashion, and gawking at celebrity couples that normally refuse to be seen in public together. Even if they’re disgusting levels of cutesy, I still love them. They’re famous! And yet, ~just like us~ because they love other human beings!

I’m aware this is ridiculous, to give a shit about the romantic lives of random people I don’t know – people who are AT these awards because they’re actually good at other things, like acting and directing and design. But also in a very real way WHO CARES SHOW ME THE KISSY KISSY.

MELISSA MCCARTHY & BEN FALCONE

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

TAKUMI KAWAHARA & MARIE KONDO

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

Do you think Marie Kondo’s husband just lives a life of extreme calm because their house is so organised? I think yes.

TONYA LEWIS & SPIKE LEE

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

Look at these cute weirdos dressed like they’re on their way to the Willy Wonka factory. Adorable.

AMY ADAMS & DARREN LE GALLO

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Amy is like “ILY my delightful partner” and Darren is like “when do we get to go eat In N Out burgers”.

JORDAN PEELE & CHELSEA PERRETTI

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

I didn’t even know these two were dating and it’s the most pure fucking thing I can imagine ever existing.

JASON MOMOA & LISA BONET

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

Are these the hottest people alive? YES.

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

Are they also the cutest people alive? EXTREMELY HARD YES.

PHARRELL WILLIAMS & HELEN LASICHANH

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

They both need to rethink their outfits but you cannot deny these people a) do not age and b) are cute as shit.

J.LO & ALEX RODRIGUEZ

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

Oh look! More people who never age.

BRADLEY COOPER & IRINA SHAYK

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Steve Granitz/WireImage

I am well aware actors sometimes act, but when these two look at each other this way I do NOT believe the Gaga/Bradley rumours.

SAM ROCKWELL & LESLIE BIBB

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

CUUUUTE.

LUCY BOYNTON & RAMI MALEK

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

CUUUUTE with an added “I love when couples are fashionable and also met on movie sets”.

MICHAEL B JORDAN AND HIS FUCKINGGGGG MUUUUUM!!!

All The Adorable Couples Being Disgustingly Cute On The Oscars Red Carpet
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Obviously NOT a couple but I could not write this without including the most adorable, ovary-bursting, oh-shit-I’m-pregante from adorableness thing that happened on the red carpet.

Need a new podcast binge? In Pedestrian’s ‘Decoding The Modern World’, Stacey June tackles the challenges of dating, working and simply existing in 2019.

Image: Getty Images