2016 was the year of many tragedies, including One Direction’s hiatus and Donald Trump winning the US election. But a bright light shone through the darkness that year, courtesy of Orlando Bloom and his decision to paddleboard with no clothes on whatsoever.
Feeling young and free, Orlando was on hols with his gf Katy Perry in Sardinia, Italy when the mood to go nude overtook him. And the pics were certainly a sight to behold.
omg Orlando Bloom pic.twitter.com/JC9klR2rvV
— neto (@ariananotears) August 3, 2016
Even the censored ones showed an impressive shadow that made the entire world pull the seedy emoji face and go “Katy, you lucky girl.”
But now Orlando has spoken out about his dong, saying that it was all just a trick of photography. According to News Corp, he said on the Howard Stern Show:
It is really not that big. Things are expanded on cameras with a big optical lens. It’s an optical illusion. First, there’s the photo with the block over it, and you make some jokes, ‘Well, I hope they’ve got a black box big enough to cover it. Then suddenly you realise somebody’s going to uncover the black box because they’re going to get paid enough money. So it was like a triple whammy. Photos, black box, no black box.
It’s a sad day for me, especially since because I worked in magazines at the time and I convinced the editor of a tabloid title to show me the hi-res, uncensored photos and committed them to memory. I also got them blown up and printed out for my friend’s hens party in which we played a spirited game of “Pin The Penis On Orlando”.
But once again, I’ve been lied to. I guess the camera does add ten pounds, so I should have known.Image: NY Daily News