Oh Crap, The Poo In ‘Emoji Movie’ Will Be Played By Sir Patrick Stewart

Look, we don’t pretend to know why actors make the artistic decisions that they do. I don’t know what’s going on their lives when they take baffling, demeaning roles. Maybe they’ve got bills. Maybe they owe some very dangerous people a lot of money. Maybe they genuinely think it’s great.

I’m not sure of the justification for this one. Turns out that The Emoji Movie – which already sounds like an Oscar-winner – will star none other than Sir Patrick Stewart as the venerable poo emoji. The trained Shakespearean actor will be lending his sonorous tones to a walking pile of excrement.

The movie, directed by Tony Leondis, follows an emoji – played by T.J. Miller – who is born with multiple expressions, and must go on an epic adventure through a teenager’s phone. It sounds pretty fuckin’ bleak.
This response to the Sony Pictures tweet really sums it all up:
Patrick Stewart isn’t the only new addition to the cast. Several other celebrities who are cashing in on the guaranteed wild success of The Emoji Movie are re Jennifer Coolidge, Mary Meh, Maya Rudolph and Jake T. Austin
Hoo boy.
Photo: Getty Images.