The Internet Is Praising The NYT’s “Drunk Intern” For Some Truly Inspired Oscars Captions

Following yesterday’s 2020 Oscars festivities, I expected a lot of online commentary about the red carpet fashions. What I did not expect, however, was a lot of online commentary about the online commentary pertaining to the red carpet fashions. (Is this shit getting meta? My brain hurts already.)

Alas, Washington Post technology reporter Heather Kelly took to Twitter to discuss the NYT’s Oscars captions. “Shout out to the drunk intern,” she wrote, “having a blast writing NYT Oscars captions.”

https://twitter.com/heatherkelly/status/1226761726189686784

The post eventually blew up, with the cyber-world banning together in unison to appreciate the work of the newly-crowned ‘drunk intern’, and to pick out their own personal favourites (because there’s so damn many).

Please enjoy some of the most incredibly inspired captions below. (And when I say incredibly inspired, I genuinely mean it – you have to understand that this legend had to type up over 80 of these, so kudos the caption guru for spicing things up a lil’ bit. Brava. Award-winning. Pulitzer. Let’s go.)

Image: Michelle Groskpof, NYT
Image: Calla Kessler, NYT
Image: Calla Kessler, NYT
Image: Calla Kessler, NYT
Image: Josh Haner, NYT
Image: Calla Kessler, NYT
Image: Josh Haner, NYT
Image: Josh Haner, NYT
Image: Josh Haner, NYT
Image: Josh Haner, NYT
Image: Calla Kessler, NYT

The culprit of the stunning captions eventually forward, insisting that he, despite popular opinion, was not under the influence during office hours. But as Twitter user @Ratify_The_ERA rightly pointed out, “I note that you do not deny drinking *before* work”. You have a point there.

https://twitter.com/Choire/status/1226841210893094914

May @choire, The People’s Captioner, continue to do the Lord’s work.

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