‘Normal People’ Had An Intimacy Coordinator & She’s Spilled On How Those Sex Scenes Went Down

normal people

You really can’t talk about Normal People, the incredible adaptation of Sally Rooney’s iconic book, without talking about sex.

The sex scenes between Marianne and Connell can, I believe, go down in history as some of the best examples of consent and how sex should be depicted on screen.

The scenes are also super intimate – we’re talking full frontal nudity for both characters, and plenty of full-length shots that make you wonder how on earth ACTUAL P in V didn’t occur.

That level of realism comes from Intimacy Coordinator Ita O’Brien, who was on set to direct sex scenes, but also to ensure best practice is in place so actors aren’t put in inappropriate situations that could cause them to feel violated.

O’Brien has given a few fascinating interviews about her work. She told Vanity Fair that her job starts way before the filming of any intimate scenes.

I always say my work on-set is the tip of the iceberg. What keeps everybody safe is that preparation; it’s the meat of the work…. We agree on touch, we’re checking out the actor’s personal body: “What’s in play for you today? What’s not in play?” 

She also said protecting the actor’s personal choices when it comes to intimacy actually makes for better scenes anyway.

I truly believe that when the work is put in place—when the actor’s personal body is taken care of—they know that they’re autonomous, they’re empowered, they’re listened to, their “no” is invited. This allows them to be free as the actor so that what you’re watching is the characters’ submission and the characters’ awkwardness.

Part of this is having a safe word, as she told RTE Radio 1.

The actor will have a safe word to halt the action and share it with the crew, and if anything happens through the take that isn’t comfortable or they need to take a break, they need to call out to halt the action themselves.

The most interesting stuff is, of course, how they coordinate a full-on intercourse scene without actual intercourse. As she explained to Vanity Fair:

So the guidelines are, in simulated sexual content, never—never—do their genitalia touch. So the least your actors will have [on] is a genitalia patch or pouch. You could have more layers on top of that: a flesh-colored G-string, dance belt, pants, shorts, a bandana or a camisole top. 

O’Brien says she always encourages close-up scenes first, so the actors can wear more clothing, before progressing to more nudity. “It’s always about only [feeling] that vulnerability of nudity when it’s absolutely needed to be filmed,” she said.

It’s nice to see film sets championing actor’s rights and wellbeing, and I agree with O’Brien – the level of trust between the actors made for absolutely killer scenes.

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