Nope, Married At First Sight’s Gay Couple Did Not Set Marriage Equality Back

When Married At First Sight announced that this year’s season would feature a same-sex couple for the very first time, the response was overwhelmingly negative, and surprisingly enough, many of the loudest voices were from the pro-marriage equality side of the debate. There was widespread outrage that a same-sex couple were getting married on a TV show before that was possible in real life, and the couple themselves, Andy and Craig, copped so much abuse that they were forced to publicly defend themselves. 
Yesterday, Huffington Post Australia ran an editorial that literally accused them of setting back the marriage equality cause. It was called Why The Gay Couple On Married At First Sight Set Back The Marriage Equality Cause, and attempted to argue … well, you probably get the idea. The author of the piece said that she refused to celebrate same-sex marriages on Australian television until we can celebrate them in real life.
While that argument’s a little like refusing to watch Star Trek until the human race figures out the secrets of interstellar travel, my question is why the hell can’t we celebrate a same-sex marriage on Australian television? Craig, one half of the gay couple from Married At First Sight, recently gave an interview to The Age, saying: 

“There’s been a lot of negative comments about us setting the movement back. It’s a gay wedding on Australian television – they should be rejoicing, not hating on us for doing it.”
 
Marriage At First Sight has not set back the marriage equality cause. Craig and Andy did not set back the marriage equality cause. The Australian government most definitely HAS set back the marriage equality cause, by refusing to legislate on the issue, offering us a half-baked plebiscite option that we may not even get, and bending over backwards to please the far-right wing of the LNP. If we’re going to be righteously angry at someone, why not be angry at the people who can actually make a difference and refuse to do so? 
Married At First Sight is not an overtly political show – it’s a voyeuristic peek into the minds of people who are naive enough to marry someone they just met, that we get to enjoy while we sit on the couch and judge them for their life and body art choices. That said, by stepping into the marriage equality debate this year, Married At First Sight has taken on a political dimension, and, though I hate to use the phrase ‘started a conversation’, has started a big old bloody conversation about gay marriage in Australia. 
So wise. 
Australian TV’s track record with gay people is bad – really, really f’kn bad. In 2014, My Kitchen Rules never actually acknowledged Carly and Tresne as a couple, calling them ‘best friends’ throughout their run on the show. They later said that they deliberately did not tell the producers or fellow contestants they were in a steady relationship at first, because they wanted people to judge them on their cooking and not their sexual preference
That’s entirely their prerogative, but 2014 was two years ago – that’s a REALLY short time, and the fact that a loving same-sex couple were too timid to come out on TV speaks volumes about where we were at. Given how rough things were, even then, it’s pretty incredible that that commercial networks have not only acknowledged the existence of same-sex couples (go us), but are trying to marry us off. 
At one point in yesterday’s Married At First Sight piece, the Huffintgon Post’s writer argues:

“Craig and Andy may have, by their own admission, gone on the show to have a personal “experience” with this “experiment” but what they have so successfully achieved by participating is making queer couples look just as ridiculous as the other misguided — straight — contestants.”
Well … yes. Yes, it does make Craig and Andy look ridiculous, because that’s the whole point of reality TV, and why should it be any different? So what if the two of them came off looking just as silly as the straight contetants? If straight people can cook up sous vide wallaby for Pete Evans, suffer complete emotional breakdowns while trying to pick out bathroom tiles, and enter into sham marriages under the guise of a ‘social experiment’, then gay people can too.

This year’s season of The Block features its first ever lesbian couple with Julia and Sasha. Heart-breakingly enough, they said, before the show, that they feared they’d get knocked back because of their sexuality – they felt that even going on the show was a “risky” decision, but that they wanted to show Australia “it’s okay to be who you are.” (“Risky” is certainly the word – it’ll be a long time before another same sex couple is willing to go on Married At First Sight, knowing they’ll be accused of personally setting back the marriage equality cause if they do).  

Julia and Sasha are every bit as hopeless at renovating as the other contestants as they face the challenge of turning an old Melbourne soap factory into overpriced apartments. They bicker and argue just as much as other contestants, they’re just as tired at the end of a long day, and they have just as many cute couple moments, to get viewers invested in their relationship. The Block hammers home (sorry) the idea that its contestants are everyday Aussies, and four nights a week, in Julia and Sasha, we get to see two people with the same fears, the same foibles, the same flaws, hopes, ideals and aspirations (and questionable decorating taste) as everyone else.
You might say that reality TV is dumb, that it caters to the masses and sucks up valuable airtime from quality programming, and if you feel that way, nothing I can say is going to make you feel any different. Shows like The Block, Married At First Sight and MKR are popular as hell, though, and they’re popular for a reason – it’s because they reflect the mundane realities of our world back at us, albeit with some heightened stakes and an occasional meltdown at Beacon Lighting
The (long-winded) point I’m trying to make here is the aspiring chefs and would-be renovators who get cast on our reality TV shows represent the people next door, and it seems Australian commercial television has finally accepted the fact that the gays are moving on to the street, and we’re here to stay. Married At First Sight‘s genuine-if-clumsy attempt to put a gay couple in the foreground is a sign that the TV landscape here is changing … it might be optimistic to say that the political landscape will change with it, but we can just keep fighting and hoping. 
I should mention at this point that I do have a pretty obvious personal interest in the fight for marriage equality. I’ve been with my partner for nearly ten years, and would love it if one day I could legally marry him and have a big piss-up where all our friends are invited. I’m angry as hell that I can’t, but I’m not angry at Married At First Sight: I’m angry at Australia’s federal government who can’t and won’t provide any sort of leadership on the issue, and who have been taking us backwards since the Marriage Amendment Act arrived as a big ‘stuff you’ to the gays in 2004.

I’m a firm believer marriage equality, and I’m a sucker for dumb reality TV shows. To quote a personal hero of mine, whose wise words always ring true for me in my darkest times: porque no los dos?

Photo: 9 Now.

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