No One Can Accept That Eternally Youthful James Marsden Has A 15 Y.O. Son

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Published

January 31, 2017

Hollywood is full of mysteries. Why does Keanu Reeves never age? Why did Zooey Deschanel‘s parents see the usual number of vowels her name requires and thought, “fuck it, fam”? Why do Brendan Fraser‘s people never give me his personal phone number ‘just in case’?

Clearly, it’s conspiracy city.

And here’s another one: just how the fuck does ‘Westworld‘ star and actual Disney prince James Marsden have a 15-year-old son?

James Marsden takes lookalike teenage son Jack to the #SAGAwards https://t.co/FE92wSA1Ht pic.twitter.com/M5YVIifHJD

— People Magazine (@people) January 30, 2017

The man is clearly fresh out of a catalogue. He’s in his middish-to-late twenties, max. If you cut him in half to count the rings you’d find 28 at the absolute tops.

There is just no possible way, in the laws decreed to us by space and time and Xenu, that James Marsden has a son who can almost drive.

Anyone else perplexed as to how James Marsden’s son looks older than him? Som real Benjamin Button stuff right there. That jawline tho!

— Jay Stevens (@jaystevensradio) January 30, 2017

How does James Marsden have a 15 year old son? I thought he was like 29. #ThoseGenes https://t.co/SK25Bw2IUO

— Tara Ess (@TaraEmmEss) January 30, 2017

And yet, he demonstrably does, as evidenced by said son’s appearance on the SAG red carpet yesterday next to daddy dearest.

It turns out that James Marsden is an absolutely not believable 43 years old. Still not convinced? He was playing the other love interest in ‘The Notebook‘ while you were still in high school (assuming you were in high school in 2004).

His son, Jack, has been accompanying his papi to media events since at least 2009, as seen in this pic of Jack, James and Mary (his daughter) from some kind of Arts Express Yourself event that year.