My Kitchen Rules fans were stoked to learn that the series had survived the Pete Evans shitstorm by replacing the tinfoil hat-lover with culinary queen Nigella Lawson.

Seven even dropped a shiny first-look teaser to get fans all excited for what’s to come and it looked v. shmick.

We really thought the series had a chance of turning things around!

But it’s now been revealed that apparently Nigella’s role in MKR isn’t quite what it seems.

The Australian reported that Nigella “will appear only for the first round of the show with Manu Feildel.”

Um, EXCUSE???

After Nigella fucks off into the night, ex-MasterChef judge Matt Preston (?) will take her place for the second round, before Colin Fassnidge (??) and Curtis Stone (???) rock up to judge the finale.

Well that kinda blows, doesn’t it?

That being said, the trailer still looks heaps fun.

I don’t even really care about My Kitchen Rules that much but knowing Nigella Lawson will be on it, even for a little while? I am simply frothing at the mouth.

From the moment I heard the somber, poignant piano over stunning shots of random Australian capital cities, I knew something was up. And suddenly, there she was: the beautiful English accent that pronounced “microwave” like “mee-kro-wav-ay”.

“I’m in Australia because Australian cooking is very much like the Australian character,” Nigella said.

“Full of life, unpretentious, fresh and direct. And I love that!”

Her commentary was overlaid with nail-biting videography. We’re seeing sauces being drizzled over some sort of main course. Tongs are flipping what I believe is lamb on the barbecue. A closeup of a bloke with a stubble smiling to himself. Prawns sizzling on the grill.

The shots would be nothing if it weren’t for Nigella’s dulcet tones.

“For me, the story of food is the story of home cooking,” she said.

Next thing we know, there are mild cheers and fireworks start exploding over the Sydney Harbour Bridge in some sort of orgasmic crescendo. As they bloody well should; Nigella is spitting sheer facts.

But the visceral thrill of the moment instantly dissipates because Manu Feildel starts talking about something and then a contestant, who I’m sure is lovely, talks about her cooking journey and chops some peanuts.

I honestly have nothing against Manu. He seems like a scrummy man with a kind heart. And the contestants this season appear to be warm, family-oriented and passionate.

However, My Kitchen Rules this season is about Nigella Lawson and Nigella Lawson only. I am only watching this preview to see my chaotic kitchen goddess.

Manu Feildel on My Kitchen Rules, with his hands crossed together
Respectfully, Manu, please get off my screen. (My Kitchen Rules / Seven Productions)

I simply cannot believe the glow up that My Kitchen Rules has had by nabbing Nigella, after Channel Seven allegedly fired the sunscreen industry’s final boss, Pete Evans, in 2020.

It was around the same time that the show appeared to be dead in the water, drowning as it tried to compete with the equally bitchy and toxic reality show Married At First Sight.

But like a chocolate soufflé that rises from a brown turd-like puddle, My Kitchen Rules is obviously back and surely better than ever with Nigella Lawson in tow. I hope she says “mee-kro-wav-ay” at least once.

Source: My Kitchen Rules / Seven Productions