Poor, sweet, intensely ridiculous Nic Cage is having a really, really, really crummy month. He’s in it up to his eyeballs right now. And he’s dealing with it in exactly the same way you or I would: By sinking an absolute skinful of piss and belting out his feelings at karaoke on an iconic Prince jam. But we’ll get to that in a second.
It’s probably worth explaining just what in the blue hell is going on in the world of Cage right now.
Cage has reportedly been dating a woman by the name of Erika Koike since April 2018. Not much is known about her but entertainment reports suggest the relationship wasn’t exactly on the steadiest of terms in recent months.
Despite that, on March 23rd in Las Vegas – where Cage lives – the pair reportedly got absolutely wankered drunk and decided on impulse to get married.
That happy union managed to last a handful of hours; later that night the freshly-hitched pair was spotted having a heated argument as they left the Bellagio Hotel. Four days later, Cage filed for an annulment with a Nevada judge, alleging he was so drunk that he did not have “the ability to recognise or understand the full impact of his actions,” and that Koike’s motivation for pursuing the marriage was based on fraud, and that she did not divulge “the full nature and extent of her relationship with another person.“
Koike, for her part, reportedly agreed that the pair were not fit for marriage. But despite being officially hitched for just four days, she is still reportedly seeking spousal support, claiming she “lost career opportunities” as a result of the relationship. She’s also pursuing Cage for legal costs incurred during the annulment process.
So after all that, Cage has now reportedly left Las Vegas, hit up Koreatown in Los Angeles, gotten absolutely loaded up, and burst all his pent up anger into what’s easily going to be the most furious rendition of Purple Rain you’ll hear this year.
Honestly? Fair fucken enough.
Despite all his rage, he really still is Nicolas Cage.
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