Neil Patrick Harris’ Autobiography Will Be A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure

File this one under: “cool shit that took far too long to happen“. Actor, dancer, singer, performer, member of the most unbearably adorable family of all time, and all-around complete legend Neil Patrick Harris has reached that point in his career, as so many in the entertainment biz have done before him, where the need to reflect on his path in life via pen and paper has arisen. Not content to merely contribute yet another self-indulgent autobiography to the pile, NPH – in typical NPH style – is taking a completely different path. Or rather, you’ll be taking a different path. Or even several different paths. Depending on how adventurous you are.

Yes, NPH is releasing his autobiography in the form of a Choose Your Own Adventure novel, which is just so freaking genius I could run off and burst. Or I could stay here in the cave and see what happens. THE CHOICE IS MINE (and yours). But don’t take our word for it, let this magnificent blurb do all the selling it needs to (which is none, but humour me here…)
Sick of deeply personal accounts written in the first person? Seeking an exciting, interactive read that puts the “u” back in “aUtobiography”? Then look no further than Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography! In this revolutionary, Joycean experiment in light celebrity narrative, actor/personality/carbon-based life-form Neil Patrick Harris lets you, the reader, live his life. You will be born in New Mexico. You will get your big break at an acting camp. You will get into a bizarre confrontation outside a nightclub with actor Scott Caan. Even better, at each critical juncture of your life you will choose how to proceed. You will decide whether to try out for Doogie Howser, M.D. You will decide whether to spend years struggling with your sexuality. You will decide what kind of caviar you want to eat on board Elton John’s yacht.”

“Choose correctly and you’ll find fame, fortune, and true love. Choose incorrectly and you’ll find misery, heartbreak, and a guest stint on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. All this, plus magic tricks, cocktail recipes, embarrassing pictures from your time as a child actor, and even a closing song. Yes, if you buy one book this year, congratulations on being above the American average, but make that book Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography! On sale October 14, 2014.”

Still not convinced? Check out the goddamned cover, why don’t you. Just look at this thing.
I… I mean I just… I can’t… I have to… There’s… It’s… I…
Photo: Monica Schipper via Getty Images.