A Woman In Perth Caught A Monster Demon Fish That’s Surely Been Eating Humans

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – the ocean is literal hell and we should just shoot some electric shocks down there and murder everything in it. Then I could swim in it with no fear of bitey things. Never mind the food chain and the fact that they’re all just minding their own business looking like demonic aliens. Kill ’em all.

Seriously, you cannot gaze on this monstrosity and not tell me fish are the worst.

What a fucking MUG. The eye is as big as her hand! Why is that floating around in *MY* ocean?

My take: this fish has absolutely been eating human beings on the sly to get to that portly size. (There is no evidence of this…yet).

The huge swimmy boy was caught by a woman named Sue Elcock, who originally hails from Lilleshall in the UK but was Down Under in Perth visiting her son Simon. She went on the fishing trip simply to keep him company, then caught a fish the size of an adult human.

Can you imagine throwing a line out thinking you’ll score a regular-sized fishie and then lugging in this fella.

That face will definitely feature in my nightmares tonight.

“Simon is an experienced sea angler and I have been out with him before when I have been visiting he and Michelle,” she told The Sun. “The biggest fish I’ve caught before was a snapper about a foot long and when this one took the bait on the bottom, the tug on the line didn’t seem much.”

The giant bass grouper weighs 62kg and measured 162cm – 5cm longer than Sue is tall. See what I mean? EATING. HUMANS.

“I was using one of Simon’s electric reels but it still took nearly an hour to get him on board. And I just couldn’t believe the size of it when it reared its head out the water. It was the size of a settee.”

In absolutely batshit news, the giant fish has been kept for FOOD. Which is good I suppose, like no wastage? But also – who will honestly eat 62kg of fish. Especially one where you saw into it’s soul via that hand-sized eyeball.

“Someone said you would need an awful lot of chips to go with a fish like that. But I’ve helped cut him up and get all that fish into the freezer,” Sue said.

Absolutely wild.