Miranda Kerr and James Packer Allegedly Sucking Face

There’s a rumour going around at recess today that friends with money, Miranda Kerr and James Douglas Packer, both pictured above – just kidding, that’s a car – are touching tongues and occasionally taking their meals at the same time in the same room, also known as ‘dating’. 

According to The Daily Telegraph, source of all things known to be good and true about the equally-matched close and personal friends James Packer and Miranda Kerr, the two were spotted canoodling at Chris Isen’s Halloween party and have been inseparable ever since, only months after separating from their respective partners through whom they met: Erica Baxter, also a regular country gal just like you from Gunnedah, and noted fug person Orlando Bloom of Mirkwood, a Prince of the Woodland Realm with whom Kerr has a two-year-old style icon, Flynn Christopher Copeland KerrBloom!
“Well-placed sources yesterday confirmed the new high-profile coupling but said the match was only made ‘very recently’,” writes the Tele, citing a holiday the two families took together in Bora Bora last year as being the site of their in flagrante delicto infatuation. Imagine that: the heat, the lingering stares, the sexy hotel breakfasts fecund with eggs cooked in the manner of your choosing; the air thick with pheromones and KORA Organics by Miranda Kerr™ Balancing Rose Mist; sand in places sand shouldn’t go, chaffing. 
The paper then goes on to profile in astonishing detail a compendium of all the woman James Packer has done sex with. It makes for fascinating reading of the kind you can’t un-see. 
‘shipping #PackKerr so hard right now.
Photo: Neilson Barnard via Getty