We’re Just Going To Accept That Miley Stewart Could Conceal Her Identity With A Wig, Huh?

First and foremost, I’d like to disclose that I was an avid Hannah Montana watcher. As a tween, I simply frothed all facets of the show – from Hannah/Miley’s tunes and fashions, to the way she managed to effortlessly swindle everyone in regards to her identity.

But as I’ve grown older – and subsequently more cynical – I can’t help but feel as though Miley swindled me, too. With my rose-tinted glasses firmly in the bin, I don’t know how the show’s producers and executives made us accept that Miley Stewart could effortlessly conceal her entire identity from friends and classmates with a wig.

I mean, there were several times when Miley chucked on a wig…

To reveal herself as Hannah…

And everyone was like…

And we all just accepted it.

Speaking of flawed premises, a viral TikTok has recently exposed another hole in the show’s once-foolproof narrative, this time regarding Robby Ray Cyrus.

As discussed by user @kylielkunder, whose dissection of the series has amassed over 400k likes, Robby Ray announced himself as both Miley and Hannah’s father at various points in the show, thereby blowing the popstar’s cover.

“We know this because Rico goes to their house,” the user explains, “and says, ‘Miley and Jackson, I need to talk to your dad because my grandma’s a big fan of old, washed-up country singers. Can I please have his autograph?’ Common knowledge that the old country singer is Robby Ray – Robby Ray’s his name in the show – is Miley and Jackson’s dad.”

“Fast forward to the Jonas Brothers episode…. The Jonas Brothers say, ‘Oh my gosh, you’re Robby Ray, you write all the songs.’ And Hannah Montana says, ‘Yep, my dad, Robby Ray – the old country singer – writes all the songs.’”

@kylieklunderTHE BIGGEST PLOT HOLE IN CINEMATIC HISTORY ##hannahmontana ##fyp ##foryoupage ##viral ##IMPORTANT ##conspiracy ##yourewelcome ##miley♬ original sound – kylieklunder

No moustache could salvage this blunder, hey?

Punters quickly commended Kylie for her fine investigative skills.

“LMAO we were 12 and waiting for the new High School Musical,” one user commented. “We didn’t have time to put this together.”

“I actually wrote a college admissions free response essay about this,” another said. “I didn’t get in.”

There are multiple people to blame for these now-apparent plot holes – the writers, the producers, and me for actively trying to find them.

With this in mind, it’s probably best if I stop dissecting my favourite shows as a kid, and just appreciate them for what they were, as to not ruin my childhood any further.

On that note, I shall depart. Alexa, play “Start All Over”. That shit’s hard.