Move over Joe Keery, TikTok has crowned its new white boy of the month: Miles Teller. But specifically when he does that little shoulder wriggle in Top Gun: Maverick.

Every few weeks or so, TikTok finds a new white man to obsess over. It used to be Jonathan Bailey from Bridgerton. Then it was Joe Keery from Stranger things (which I whole-heartedly was on board for). Now it’s Miles Teller and honestly… I see it. I hate that I see it. But I do see it.

It all started with one specific scene in Top Gun: Maverick, of Miles Teller goofing it up with the boyz before he just… does the thing.

What thing? I don’t know what it’s called. A little dance? A shoulder wriggle? A shimmy shimmy? Whatever you want to call it, he did the thing, and the result is a bewitchment so potent its powers have ensnared girls, gays and theys across the globe.


#milesteller just hits different #fyp #topgunmode

♬ Take My Breath Away (Love Theme from “Top Gun”) – Berlin


He seemed a lil too into that scene🙃 #topgunmaverick #rooster #roosterisdaddy

♬ Take My Breath Away (Love Theme from “Top Gun”) – Berlin


only reason we watched the movie

♬ Take My Breath Away (Love Theme from “Top Gun”) – Berlin


Hope everybody had a nice, fun and safe Memorial Day 🇺🇸

♬ Take My Breath Away (Love Theme from “Top Gun”) – Berlin

Now look. While some may only just be discovering Miles Teller now (completely understandable), he has been around for a while. Remember Whiplash (2014)??? Incredible movie, incredible acting, and for that he was always hot, just a little, tiny bit. Sorry to my friends who I know will flay me for saying so. Girls who get it, get it. Girls who don’t, don’t.

Anyway, his performance, pornstache and incredible pectorals have truly taken the world by storm. But sorry to the horny babes out there, Miles *does* have a wife. Who is actually one of his biggest fans because she’s been reposting thirst traps of him on TikTok, too. A whole hype queen, we love to see it!!!

If you haven’t yet watched Top Gun: Maverick, proceed with caution: side effects include dizziness and extreme thirst.

If you cannot afford the ego-crushing illness of obsession over yet ANOTHER rich white man (especially one that, uh, is not the most wholesome out there), stay far away. You have been warned.