Can Someone Please Help This Melbourne Man Find His “Usually Lucky” Beanie?

On my morning walk today I came across a sign that genuinely made me double back and take a photo. It wasn’t your average Lost Pet sign, it was a poster from a local guy who had lost his favourite, lucky beanie.

And I simply must enlist all of you to help us find it for him.

The bloke in question managed to lose his favourite beanie, his “usually lucky” skull-warmer on Canning St in Carlton North, right in the middle of winter. It’s been a particularly frosty winter so far this year too, with clear mornings meaning we’ve had frosts and fogs happening. It’s really not the best time of year to lose your favourite beanie.

Not even just on the street, but between two very specific addresses, too. This man has lost the precious knitted noggin protector in the short space of real estate between numbers 491 and 523, which is not a very long stretch of street.

Now sure, he might be offering a purely “good karma” reward here – although the excessive dollar signs might mean he’ll chuck you some cash as well – but if anything we should be focused on getting this man’s bonce back to its beanied self. Especially now, in the Cold Times, right as the second wave of lockdowns have kicked in. Nobody wants an chilly cranium in these times.

So please, if you happen to find this man’s beanie, let us know. It’s a matter of warmth and brain-cell-frozen-death, here.

But if I’m being terribly honest here, I think the main suspect and/or culprit is right behind you my friend. He was right there all along. Right where you least expected him to be, waiting for you to let your guard down before nicking your beanie clean off your loaf.

Sir I’ve found your #1 suspect pic.twitter.com/3sWrOtm79N

— ℭ???????????????????????????? (@courtwhip) July 9, 2020