As the May premiere of Chris Lilley’s Angry Boys draws near, the ABC have unveiled two new character profiles introducing us to emasculated surf champ Blake Oakfield and image conscious ringtone rapper S.Mouse.

Watch on as Blake explains how a beach brawl resulted in testicle amputation and why a serendipitous dick swing saved his “shaft” while S.Mouse explains how a contractual obligation to avoid swears hurts his image and birthed a track about defecating on people.

At this point we’d call Blake an amalgam of The Bra Boys, Ben Cousins and Dicky Eklund while S.Mouse is Soulja Boy meets R Kelly with hints of Justin Bieber. We feel like we know them already! Watch below…

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