As 2020 continues to test my limits and patience, I’ve found that small things have been keeping me from falling apart altogether. A little morning rush hour from Caen Hill Farm. Maybe a wee kangaroo joey from the Alice Springs Kangaroo Sanctuary. But right now, I want to talk about one man from Wales. One man and his giant veggie prowess. I want to tell you about Medwyn Williams and his award-winning, impossibly perfect vegetables.

If you’re not aware of Medwyn, he’s probably best known as that sweet old dude at the annual Chelsea Garden Show with the absurdly large displays of immaculately-presented, giant veggies. He’s got a casual 12-year gold medal streak going for them too, and he’s the president of the National Vegetable Society in the UK.

This is him, his wife, and his gold-medal-winning display at the 2019 Chelsea Flower Show. And I love them all.

Every year, Medwyn Williams somehow grows and presents a giant fruit and veggie smorgasbord that absolutely would not get rejected from supermarket shelves because they’re all just SO utterly perfect. I don’t even understand how he does it and grows such immaculate produce. I can barely grow herbs let alone a giant leek that looks like it’s about as thick as my arm and as tall as me.

Even though the Chelsea Flower Show has gone virtual this year – it actually kicked off this week, as is its yearly tradition – Medwyn hasn’t taken the year off from his annual growing and preparation for the show. In fact, he’s become very active on Twitter and Instagram, showing off how his (very large and professional) veggie patch is coming along through the coronavirus pandemic.

Look at him with his carrots.

And going through his parsnips and other things in his greenhouse earlier this year.

And the beetroot he was going to enter into Chelsea this year.

Oh oh oh and his absurdly large onions. Look at them! He’s so proud!

All I want when I’m feeling a bit sad and soft and small is for Medwyn to talk me through his garden and all the stuff he’s growing in his thick Welsh accent. It’s like a soothing balm to the soul, and I fear there’s nothing more wholesome and delightful than an old codger just being very stoked on the fucking giant veggies he’s grown throughout the year.

He’s a fucking legend in my very chaotic food group chat, and he should be in yours too.

Bless you, Medwyn Williams of Anglesey, may your giant veggie produce grow strong and true, and you defend your gold medal title at Chelsea 2021.

Image: Twitter / @medwynsofangles