Australia Has Decided We Are Incredibly Done W/ The Mean Girls Of ‘Bachie’

Let’s tuck into the fourth week of Survivor, I mean The Bachelor shall we, by first mourning our dearly departed Vanessa Sunshine.

We hardly knew ye.

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The crux of this episode comes in the last ten minutes when we finally get to see the runaway contestant Network Ten have been teasing us with since last week, but we’ll get to that. Gimme a minute.

We kick off with a whole gang of the girls going on a group date with Mr Badge and three new intruders, one of whom, Brittney is a LOT, and we kinda love it?

Deanna, another intruder, doesn’t get much airtime. But Jamie-Lee does, when on the group date, which is five-a-side netball on hop balls – except it’s full contact and devolves into tackling and running and not netball at all – she injures her ankle. Her time in the ep is spent in Cummins’ strong arms, an enviable position.

But the intruders’ entry – and Jamie-Lee’s injury – bring out the worst bitchiness in the mansion’s mean girl trio, Cat, Romy and Alisha. Like they just lay into them the entire time. It’s nauseating to watch.

Then they ramp up the awfulness to interrogate Tenille after her bee-keeping, motorcycle-riding single date with Nick ,who she did pash, despite repeatedly saying she’s not the kind of girl to kiss on a first date. Also Nick had a very confusing rant about Tim Tams.

Romy goes her for unseen previous comments where she maybe implied it’s gross to kiss on the first date/go right in with a man who you know has kissed a number of people, some of whom presumably she considers friends. Like she picks away at Tenille until the latter snaps and runs off, threatening to bail on the entire endeavour.

Shannon tries to talk her down unsuccessfully, so it falls to producers – one of whom says he’s not allowed to help un-mic her as she’s unzipping her dress to do it herself.

The rest of the ep is another producer urging her to “stop running” as she tries to get the cameras off her so she can have her kinda understandable meltdown in private – to quote Tenille herself: “Everyone’s losing their biscuits” – until she’s convinced that the reason she is there is for the Badge, so she’ll stick around to see how that goes.

At the rose ceremony, Nick decides to keep all three intruders around, sending Rhiannon and Ashlea home, to all the originals’ chagrin.

The thing we’re learning from all the drama of this episode, from the sniping throughout all the way to the incessant prodding by Romy of the last ten minutes or so, is that Australia is kinda over all of the nastiness, in particular the bullying behaviour of the season’s villains, Romy, Cat and Alisha. Like the internet has come to the unanimous conclusion that that’s not how you treat other women, and actually it’s harmful to show this on telly to this level:

It’s time to see all three of them go – and from the previews it looks like we might lose at least one tomorrow, thank Christ.

Until then…