Matching Big Brother’s Female Housemates To Their Secrets

During last night’s live episode of Big Brother (Live Blog blow-by-blow here) the secrets of the male housemates were revealed. Considering the whole “Secret” angle was hyped as the major hook in the promo material leading up to the series, the “big reveal” moment was neither big nor revelatory and to be honest made for rather boring television (despite the housemates’ gallant attempts to sex up the evening with a rock and roll costume theme involving Josh‘s exposed mid section). Mind you, compared with the day-to-day happenings in the BBAU house it was like bloody Rio Carnivale.

E.g. happening in the house today:

Last night the dudes in the house were given seven secrets, each one belonging to one of the female housemates. They have a week to figure out which secret goes with which housemate. Hopefully producers will somehow raise the stakes to make things a little more interesting. Perhaps instead of being up for eviction if they don’t attribute the right secret to the corresponding woman, the guys have to do a nude run through the DreamWorld tiger compound or fight to the death. That’ll provide some suspense.

Let’s see if we can predict which secret belongs to whom, to avoid having to (hypothetically) flash the DreamWorld tiger cubs our pubic hair… [WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD]

Secret 1: “I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Firstly let me state the obvious and say that anyone who goes into the Big Brother house has to be unusual in some degree (exhibitionist, fame-whore, etc), but someone with OCD choosing to go in there must be a full blown masochist. I reckon the housemate who’s hiding this secret is Charne – not because she’s clearly a fan of pain, but because she has made a few statements that suggest she prefers to live in a controlled environment.

In her housemate bio she says what most excites her about being on the show is: “It would be an extreme challenge for me. An extreme challenge! Every year I like to go out of my comfort zone and try something that I’ve never done before and probably push me just that bit further.”

Secret 2: “I was a Champion Weightlifter”
There’s something about people from the Gold Coast and unorthodox sporting pastimes like ice skating, professional squash and WOMEN’S WEIGHTLIFTING. That’s my baseless rationale for picking Angie: because she’s from the Gold Coast. (When the actual reason is: I just get the feeling she was into weightlifting from looking at her).

Secret 3: “I am a high school dropout”
Estelle is a law student, which is a fact she likes to emphasize a lot… to the degree that it gives her a chip-on-shoulder-something-to-prove vibe. In her bio under the question: What did your report cards used to say? She has said, “Estelle needs to come to school more. Estelle needs to apply herself. Like when I’m at school I’d be getting A-pluses but my attendance in Year Ten was like 50%.”

Secret 4: “I was a nude protester”
The ‘Hot Hits’ website unearthed this photo of housemate Sarah in the nude for an anti-fur protest. Done.

Secret 5: “I used to be an emo”
Former emos. They’re always the ones you least expect.

Secret 6: “I was a hand model”
[As you’ve probably guessed, by now I’m well over putting much thought into these answers.] Could Stacey be the hand model?
In this shot you can see that she has long lean fingers that could possibly once have represented an Olay product:

I have absolutely no idea of the context surrounding this image but Stacey seems to be wearing some kind of protective gloves over her hand?

And the final one…

Secret 7: “I am a member of a Royal Family”

Big Brother is back on Channel 9 at 7pm tonight.