I’m not here to pass judgment. I’m not here to look down my nose at anyone. I’m not here, on this Earth, to be a goalie: As long as whatever it is you’re doing is consensual and doesn’t hurt anyone, I’m either here to assist, or get out of the way. Am I here to gawk occasionally along the way? You bet. But otherwise, you do what you gotta do. Even if that means rocking up to the MasterChef set sporting – what at least appears to be – some sort of hickey.

Thanks to an eagle-eyed reader tip-off, this morning we were alerted to the fact that Reynold – pure of heart, chaste of soul – may have appeared on MasterChef last night sporting a wee lil something astride his neck.

Going back over the footage, it appears to be a tip-off that carries at least a little weight.

At the start of the episode, Reynold appeared to be quite visibly nursing some sort of bruise or marking on his neck.

It was there prior to revealing the contents of the Mystery Box.

And it was there mid-cook as well, as Reynold gamely pushed ahead cooking a Mystery Box dish that he already sells to the public.

And while that alone is a little unclear, we have – as always – the blessed enhance button to fall back on. Enhance!



Things get particularly curious, however, when you fast forward to the end of the episode only to find that… whatever it is… was gone.

Cop a bloody zoom in of that.

Gone. Vanished. Concealed, if you will.

Of course, there’s no way to tell what the mark really was – it could’ve been caused by god knows how many different things. Does that list happen to also include someone sucking the holy soul out of it like a blown hatch on a Space Shuttle? Sure, absolutely. None of you can look me directly in the ocular socket and tell me the positioning, the colouring, and the shape, aren’t all just a little bit suss.

But there are other possibilities that we can’t rule out at this point. It’s just none of them are that sexy and, therefore, don’t warrant publishing at this particular juncture.

Reynold, Reynold, Reynold. What on earth are you up to you sly bloody dog.