A few years ago the MasterChef Australia kitchen became inescapably haunted. A looming spectre descended on the building, and no amount of ceremonial Habachi Grill smoke will be able to exorcise it. It shows up once a year, specifically during the dreaded Team Relay challenge, and lingers over proceedings like a Phantom in the rafters. And while everyone else who walks into the kitchen successfully manages to walk back out, a large part of that spectre – known to all of y’all as John – can never leave. Specifically, the White Chocolate Veloute part.
While last night’s Team Relay episode of MasterChef: Back to Win – one they ran in the very first week of the season because this show is trying to kill me – did not feature any fuck up that so much as ventured into the carpark of the same ballpark as King John’s now iconic misstep, it turns out both Khanh and Laura made an offering behind the scenes.
In what can only be described as an act of Blood for the Blood God, Khanh posted a video to social media showing a behind the scenes moment in which Laura, with her willing human hands, tempted fate by whipping up a White Chocolate Veloute inside the MasterChef kitchen.
Laura and I making a white chocolate voloute #NeverForget #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/jrcLLwWbld
— khanh (@khanhong) April 15, 2020
The audacity of that. The sheer temerity. The brazenness of it all.
It’s unclear at this point whether or not that was actually filmed during production; you’d certainly hope they wouldn’t dare tempt fate by invoking that kind of curse while still alive in the game.
Regardless, we’re once again hearing a howling wind cannoning through the walls of the kitchen. And it’s one that whispers “veloute.”
I hear if you stir that shit three times while saying his name in a mirror, John appears and completely changes your dish on you.
Spooky stuff.
