If you’ve missed MasterChef over the past two nights, you’ve missed a hell of a thing.
Last night 36 year-old Victorian flight attendant John Carasig avoided elimination, with the judges instead sending charmingly bearded koalaman/civil engineer Jarrod Trigg home instead. And people are pissed.
Not because the elimination was rigged or because people felt Trigg’s efforts in that challenge were better. But because of the circumstances that lead to them facing elimination in the first place.
On Wednesday night’s episode, the contestants were split into teams and given a relay cooking task. Team Captains would choose the dish and start cooking, then every 15 minutes the next person from the team – who are all kept outside, unaware of what they’re about to cook – comes in to take over, and so on. The preceding chef has 45 seconds to relay to the next chef what the dish is and where they are in the cooking process. Easy enough, right?
Jarrod – captain of Team Blue – chooses a smart dish: Mussels in a coconut and tomato broth. Nice and simple. Easy to relate to each person on the team. Delicate little balanced dish. Very clever cooking and leadership.
Except when John struts in as cook number three in this five person relay, he doesn’t hear cook number two Fiona Grindlay say “mussels in a coconut and tomato broth.” Instead what he hears is “just fuck it up fam” and thus proceeds to go absolutely apeshit on it.
In his 15 minute time period of cooking – repeat: fifteen minutes only – he sprints to the pantry and pulls out half an ocean’s worth of extra seafood, before grabbing a whole block of white chocolate because without hesitation he’s decided that calling an audible and whipping up a veloute is a genius idea. Marco Pierre White at this point comes over and does that thing where he’s straight up telling you you’re about to fuck up big time, but phrases it as a question.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” is the question MARCO PIERRE WHITE poses to John, to which he responds all…
…and continues barrelling towards the cliff blissfully unaware that he is the culinary equivalent of a red sock in a load of white shirts.
When his time expires and, shock horror, all he’s managed to do is discard half-cooked mussels and pile the bench up with more random objects than a Rube Goldberg Machine, cook number four Amy Luttrell arrives and tries to make sense of things – which is not helped in the slightest by John’s inability to describe even a little bit of what he was trying to do.
With a half hour left, a pot of simmering disaster, and no clue what’s going on, neither Amy, nor anchor cook Georgia Barnes could salvage things, and thus the group is sent through to elimination, leaving John to meekly admit “I stuffed up.“
You stuffed up?
YOU STUFFED UP?
M8, overcooking spatchcock is stuffing up. Splitting hollandaise is stuffing up. What you did was like being handed the baton in a 4x100m foot race and deciding to trot over and make sandcastles in the long jump pit instead.
Thus elimination rolled around last night, and the axe fell on Mufasa instead of Scar.
We reiterate, people were pissed.
But then again, this could all just be part of one giant, extended reality TV show universe crossover plan.
Avengers assemble!
Photo via Facebook.
