Puppet has just been revealed on The Masked Singer Australia and holy shit it’s the fucking RED WIGGLE.
Apparently his name is Simon Pryce but I simply refuse to know him as anything but the budget Red Wiggle.
But I’ll forgive the fact that he’s an imposter because he gave us a bloody iconic rendition of Livin La Vida Loca by our lord and saviour Ricky Martin.
For all of you playing along at home, the clues that would’ve given it away include:
Clue #1: “I’ve had my brush with royalty… and a long time in a court of law.”
Clue #2: “Puppets don’t age in human years, but the events of 1964 impacted my career.”
Clue #3: “There has been magic in what I do although granting wishes isn’t my usual job. I could do it until the cows come home.”
Clue #4: “Am I the sort who flies by the seat of his pants? Well I have walked to the beat of a different drum?”
Clue #5: “Am I wise? I have been in the past.”
Clue #6: “I took my inspiration from the Old Testament but don’t judge me for that.”
Clue #7: “I’ve been the bridesmaid many times and I get to be the bride, taking many hands in marriage I couldn’t be a happier puppet.”
Clue #8: “I have a deep love for what I do, the best bit is interacting with the public. I get more out of it than they do.”
Clue #9: “I do it all on my terms, I don’t follow anyone.”
Clue #10: “I have many strings to my bow but i find that four are usually enough.”
Clue #11: “I like the tropical heat, in fact, the sun has no visible effect on me at all.”
Clue #12: “I’ve been many things in my life, morphing from one thing to another, some quite ugly.”
Clue #13: I have sat in judgement on others, but never been judged myself
Clue #14: I love all jungle animals… elephants and lions mostly, and many not in the jungle too, like the kangaroo
Clue #15: I am suited to many roles… adaptable
Clue #16: I’m not afraid to play it ugly, but I don’t want to scare the children.