The United Kingdom has discovered Australia’s take on Married At First Sight, with the show’s fifth season sparking some very British tweets and no small amount of horror.
I would say it’s our duty to warn them – but I fear it may already be too late.
A re-run of Married At First Sight circa 2018 appears to be nearing a conclusion on British network E4, subjecting the nation to uncut Australian cringe.
If you needed a quick recap: the ending of Married At First Sight‘s fifth season saw the ‘relationship’ between Tracey Jewel and Dean Wells implode, with Sean Thomsen inserting himself into the action with some meaty sexting accusations.
That season also featured Dean’s interactions with Davina Rankin, that fella Ryan Gallagher, and a litany of other lovelorn normies and total narcissists seeking a temporary, televised vacation from gnawing loneliness.
Anyway, it was a big mess at the time, and one many of us may have already scraped from our memory. However, it appears Married At First Sight has captured the British consciousness, and punters are emulating the very same discussions we had two years ago:
Wait….Sean and….Tracey?! #MarriedatfirstsightAustralia pic.twitter.com/vFiAOvXhBN
— Nib (@nibofthepen) September 21, 2020
Wait….how am I suddenly on Dean’s side? #MarriedatfirstsightAustralia pic.twitter.com/SPsLvibY5p
— Nib (@nibofthepen) September 21, 2020
https://twitter.com/kjfranklinuk/status/1308122591207587847
I think Tracey’s just played a blinder! Get the rat to say he loves you.. then dump him 😱😂😂 #MarriedatfirstsightAustralia
— Symone (@wallysrus) September 18, 2020
Why does Davina keep saying she loves Ryan to death? We saw receipts that said otherwise. She needs to take several seats #MarriedatfirstsightAustralia pic.twitter.com/kvRpU2phty
— Supreme D 🇬🇾🇬🇧 (@SupremeD14) September 21, 2020
Has anyone checked on Carly? Did she have her brain sucked out in this scene? #marriedatfirstsightaustralia pic.twitter.com/mih3xmYLIt
— 🌟 joannamont 🌟 (@joannamont) September 21, 2020
There are some right stinkers at this final meal, its filled with people who’s morals and standards, are lower to the ground than a snakes belly #MarriedAtFirstSightAustralia
— Nathan Lee (@NathanLeeUK) September 21, 2020
“Some right stinkers” is correct. Of course, we now know that every single ‘marriage’ presented on Married At First Sight turned to shit, but it may be too late to send out that warning signal.
All told, the UK airing Married At First Sight‘s 2018 season feels like a message sent to a space probe leaving the furthest reaches of solar system; even if we told them to stop, they’d probably only get the message in 2022.
It appears the show’s finale airs on Tuesday night, UK time. We speculated about cancelling Neighbours, we sent them former Prime Minister Tony Abbott, and now this. What a shitshow.
