A trailer for this year’s season of Married at First Sight – kicking off on Channel Nine on January 28 – features Sam Ball, Home and Away extra, an extremely handsome man.
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The MAFS man is so extraordinarily handsome, tall, with a chiselled jaw, blue eyes, a beard and a series of dumb tattoos – he has a lion on his sternum and fuck that would’ve hurt – that he fears he may never find love. Bit vain, but okay, continue:
The bridesmaids whispering about how he’s “sooooooooooo good-looking” in the trailer are all of us.
Ball reckons it is the GIRLS who run a mile from him who are wrong. There is nothing wrong with him, he is perfect, because he has abs, but for some reason chicks are afraid to get involved with him??? He is too hot for love, which could sub in for the lyrics of ‘Too Drunk to Fuck‘.
“I always feel judged for my appearance. [Women] just see me and they don’t want a bar of it. They’re just like ‘Nup’.”
MAFS relationship expert John Aiken – that is apparently a career – sums it up succinctly: “He’s finding his looks working against him in the dating world.”
The level of thirst Channel Nine are trying to inspire in this clip is too damn high – the dude is like working out on camera and emerging out of the water like the Hoff in Baywatch.
But the Married at First Sight footage also makes me, a single woman, want to run a mile. Where are the pensive shots of the dude reading in a big armchair? I think he’d want me to be outdoorsy and I don’t do outdoorsy. I think he might be the type of man who tries to subtly imply that you could stand to lose a few kilos. Or let’s be totally real: he is too good-looking for me – a lizard person – and so I am afraid of his mass.
But maybe he’s a super nice guy who’s had a bad run with chicks who can’t look past the surface. Or maybe he’s unlucky in love because he struggles with emotional connection. Or maybe he/you/I gotta like interrogate our own shit before whinging that the barrier in our dating life is being too hot.
Boo hoo. Pour one out for ol’ mate Sam here. Let’s hope he finds a girl on reality TV, a gold mine for good-looking people looking for love.
