We’re not even a week into Married At First Sight and I don’t mean to be dramatic but I would DIE for Booka and Brett. 

Perhaps it’s because I’m a 22-year-old woman still stuck in her emo phase, or maybe it’s because they’re fucking adorable and seem like two of the most sane people to have ever entered the MAFS universe. I don’t know exactly what it is but I ship it. HARD.

But last night I took to Twitter to express the fact that I do not have the emotional capacity to handle it if they ever break up, despite knowing that it’s probably imminent considering Booka doesn’t follow Brett on Instagram.

However, that’s when I discovered a cheeky little comment Booka left in a discussion thread on a music industry Facebook group, in which she basically threw my entire theory out the window (without giving us any actual spoilers).

“I’m not giving away any spoilers talk but this insta shit means zero. I don’t follow anyone from the show cos that’s the rulessss. Brett clearly gives zero fucks about rules. That is all. As you were *bows*,” she wrote.

Honestly, this could mean ANYTHING, and I’m glad she didn’t just ruin the whole damn season for us like previous contestants have.

Maybe they’re still together and we get the happily ever after that my serotonin is dependent on at this point, or maybe they break up and we get to see it all unfold on-air. Who knows! But Booka sure isn’t spilling any tea.

At this point, I give precisely zero fucks about any other couples on this show but am deeply invested in the Booka/Brett (Brooka???) love story and will personally mail a bag of dicks to Channel 9* if they don’t give us the happy ending we deserve.

That’s some reaaaal relationship shit. I imagine I’d see these two holding hands and giggling at the pub being adorable and would vomit in my empty beer jug. It is simply too cute and we must protect it at all costs.

I mean LOOK! AT! THEM!

*PEDESTRIAN.TV is wholly owned by Nine Entertainment Co. If my employer is reading this, I am joking and any bag of dicks that may or may not arrive at the Ch9 offices is a complete coincidence.