Even if you’re not a longtime fan of the show, there’s a strong chance you’ve become aware of the absolute shitstorm that is Davina and Dean.
In case you’re not completely, deeply, unstably across it – Dean is married to Tracey. Davina is married to Ryan. Dean and Davina are kind of, sort of having an affair. The end.
The explosive twist in this season has really ramped up interest in a show that previously had a strong fanbase, but definitely didn’t capture the entire nation’s attention. By entire nation, I mean me. I did not care. Now I do. And because I now care, I wanted to find out more dirt of previous villains of the show – because it’s really revealed some quality Aussie dickheads.
Here are the greatest fuckfaces of Married At First Sight.
CLARE, SEASON 1
I mean, anyone who comes out with lines like “If I was you, my glass would be half-full and I would be happy with any time you got to spend with me” is going to be a punish and a half on television, never mind in a relationship. Claire was the wife of Lachie, and notoriously selfish and princessy on the first season. She never wanted to visit Lachie’s farm, and when she did she acted like it was the biggest sacrifice the world had ever seen. Amazingly, Lachie chose to keep seeing her at the end of the season, although they’ve since split.
Her only redeeming feature was her excellent dog Snoop, the source of pretty much all reaction gifs from the season.
JONESY, SEASON 3
Yeeeesh. Jonesy might be the worst of all MAFS villains. He was a sexist shithead – when asked by ~da boiz~ during a lad’s chat where he looked when second-wife Cheryl talked to him, he famously said “her eyes, of course”, while doing a strange air-mime of a boob grab. Like this.
YEUGH. He also slagged off Cheryl’s conversational skills.
“Hair extensions, hair extensions, the Kardashians, those are the topics that come up.”
In general he was a misogynistic pig, often speaking extremely shittily to Cheryl and pissing off all of Australia. But easily the most damning shit about Jonesy were the allegations first wife Lauren walked out on him because he had violent tendencies. A source told KISSFM back in 2017:
“They were going all good but then they went to a club and when the bouncer said ‘Sorry mate you can’t come in’ because it was past one o’clock A.M., Andrew apparently lost his shit and that is when she turned around and took off.”
DEAN, SEASON 4
If you’re watching the current season of MAFS, you’re well across sexist dickwad Dean. He’s the one who says lovely stuff like this.
“My perfect wife would be tall, beautiful, brunette, definitely like a slim girl and loving your makeup and your nice shoes. That’s what women are all about and that’s what us men are attracted to.”
Yes. All men need women to look like models and love makeup and shoes. All of them.
Anyway, Dean is not only hated for his sexist views on women, he’s also cheating scum. This is the guy who went behind wife Tracey‘s back and started an affair with fellow contestant Davina – all while continuing to lead Tracey to believe he was keen on her.
DAVINA, SEASON 4
While Dean’s a sexist pig on the side and an adulterer full-time, Davina’s side-hustle when it comes to being the worst is being a manipulative sociopath. She wasn’t content to just cheat with Dean behind Tracey’s back – she also sat down and gave Tracey bloody marriage advice while doing it. WOW.
“I genuinely enjoy talking to you, probably out of everyone. I feel like you and I are very similar,” she told Tracey at the second dinner party.
Just outstandingly shit behaviour, no?
ANTHONY, SEASON 3
Not only was Anthony a controlling and arrogant dude, he also famously called his wife Nadia ‘frigid’ – an extremely fucking rude insult I haven’t heard thrown around since I was in high school.
He was so reviled even ex-Today host Lisa Wilkinson called him a ‘dog’, which is saying something. Not only was he the worst on the show, he also dumped Nadia in two seconds once the season wrapped.
“As soon as the cameras stopped rolling, he dropped me like a hot cake,” she told the other brides in the reunion special.
JONO, SEASON 2
Jono’s a complicated villain. He first entered villainous territory when he infamously said wife Clare “wasn’t what I ordered” at their FUCKING WEDDING. He’s since tried to clear that one up, saying he didn’t mean she was shit – just that she wasn’t his usual type. Still… mate.
The other element to Jono’s villain label is less to do with his behaviour on the show, and more to do with some sketch pairing from the MAFS production team. See, Clare was a PTSD sufferer due to a past random violent attack. Jono assaulted a dude in a pub fight back in 2008. Claire said of the pairing to The Daily Telegraph:
“I was very disappointed… knowing I had joined the show earnestly trying to put myself out there to find love, the show and psychologists partnered me with someone who had known anger management issues and who has been arrested for violent behaviour.”
After the couple spectacularly split after 3 weeks, Clare took to Instagram to kind of insinuate Jono may have abused her on the show.
Jono denied the allegations to Now To Love.
“I’m not a violent person, I’ve been in one fight my entire life [referring to the 2008 pub brawl]. For her to just open her mouth and say untruths and bulls—t like that, just to get her name out there. That kind of stuff really affects ya.”
See? Confusing. But absolutely a villain.
