If ever the phrase “I’ve got a lot on right now” were apt, it’s now. After last week’s saga – in which concerned efforts were made to ruin sleep for everyone forever – Mark Holden‘s apparently decided against going back to any semblance of normality and instead chosen to well and truly steer into that skid.
On last night’s instalment of “Celebrity ACL Tear Waiting To Happen” – probably more commonly known as Dancing With The Stars – we got the follow-up act to his outlandishly fucked Clown getup from last week, and it… it just wasn’t pretty. There’s really no point in embellishing or gussying up the routine for the sake of amusement; the verbatim recollection of what went down is good enough at that as is…
For whatever reason dressed as Vladimir Putin – a questionable receding hairline wig, with a Soviet Hammer and Sickle painted on one arm – and dancing to a rendition of AC/DC‘s “Highway to Hell,” Holden ripped off his vest, leaving him bare chested. As the performance finished, Holden fell to the ground and remained there for a few too many moments after the song concluded, before being helped to his feet by dance partner Jessica Prince, who summarily taped his mouth shut in response to reactions about last week’s (supposedly in-character) outburst. The lack of an audible outlet opened the doors for a little physical comedy, and thus Holden slapped his bare chest and mimed *INSERT NAME OF MOTIONS HERE IF SOMEONE EVER FIGURES OUT WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE* on the the judge’s desk.
You know what? Watch the danged thing for yourselves.
The good? Bad? Actually you know what, just news. The news is that later in the episode (apparent inability to track down a shirt notwithstanding) he got eliminated from the show. Cue: More reaction faces.
Whether it be the raving antics of an ageing personality clinging desperately to the last flickers of a long-dying light, or some sort of demented, vaudevillian performance art genius that none of us will get for at least a few years, one thing’s for damned sure: The man knows how to maximise his airtime.