God bless American and its wonderfully litigious nature, for without it there would not exist an outlet for nutbars to file lawsuits so ridiculous they make Randy Quaid look like a regular human. A gentlemen who resides in Manhattan, and who goes by the name of Anton Purisima has quite the bone to pick with a slew of individuals and organisations, and has chosen the legal system to pursue the financial compensation that he feels he is dutifully entitled to.
This all sounds well and good so far. And then you read who he’s suing and – even more baffling – exactly how fucking much he wants to get out of this.
The list of people included in this lawsuit are Au Bon Pain (a coffee store), Carepoint Health and Hoboken University Medical Centre, a K-Mart, St. Luke’s Emergency Department, the New York City Transit Authority, the New York City Metropolitan Transit Authority, the entire City of New York, LaGuardia Airport and “Does 1-1000″ (meaning that there are 1000 unnamed individuals also being sued as part of the case).
And how much does he want from this casual motley crew of vaguely related organisations? A casual 2 undecillion dollars. Don’t know what an undecillion is? That’s entirely fair. One undecillion is equal to one thousand decillion. Still a little lost? To get to that final number, you need to take one trillion, multiply it by a trillion, multiply that again by another trillion, and finally multiply it by two. It is the number 2, followed by thirty six zeroes.
That is how much money he would like please and thank you.
The law suit comes as a result of an incident in which his finger was allegedly bitten off by a rabid, rabies-infected dog on a bus, and subsequently a Chinese couple took his photo without asking, whilst he was being treated. Also he gets routinely over-charged for coffee at the airport, which is somehow related to everything too.
And it’s because of this that he would very much like reparations paid to the tune of $2undecillion, in US currency. The only problem being that that amount of money does not, and could never, exist.
Still, for a man who’s already sued a bunch of major banks, as well as the entire People’s Republic of China, maybe work needs to be done to assess exactly why a man such as this is prepared to sue at the drop of a hat.
Or, even better still, maybe we just need to let the immortal words of Darryl Kerrigan do the talking.