How was your weekend, guys? Did you try and rob a sex shop while wearing a wig and crotchless pants? If not, you’re currently one step ahead of the north Brisbane man who was arrested yesterday morning for trying to do just that.
Police say the 34-year-old man hid in the roof of an Aspley sex shop,
and alerted a manager when he attempted to sneak into the main part of the building before opening hours, setting off an alarm.
When she
confronted him, the man began throwing “sex toys” at her, then
attempted to escape from the same hole through which he entered. Police
arrested him while on the roof of the building.
I assumed “sex toys” was the ABC’s polite way of saying “dildos“, but upon asking colleagues, suggestions like “anal beads” and “fleshlights” were also thrown around, so who even knows?
Bottom line is, a woman was attacked with things that consenting adults usually put in their deepest, darkest orifices, and that’s a pretty creepy way to spend a Saturday morning.
Weirdly, this is not even the first sex shop burglary in Queensland this week. In Cairns, a 22-year-old man is facing charges after falling through the ceiling of a sex shop during a botched robbery attempt, and trying to make a way with something called a ‘Fantasy Fetish Pack’.
Maybe lay off the botched sex shop robberies for a while, Queensland, and let the other states have some of the fun.
