We’re a week into MAFS and we’re finally onto the last two weddings, which means it’s the last of the first sights.
Our final pairing for the season is single mother-of-two and lawyer Stacey, who seems to be paired up with millionaire man-baby Michael, and the internet is having none of it.
Every time Michael opens his mouth #MAFS pic.twitter.com/20KeHAINl7
— Ashleigh (@ashashake) February 10, 2020
Considering his groomsmen basically outed him for being a total man baby, I’m convinced the producers are just out to ruin Stacey’s life.
https://twitter.com/austenite20/status/1226792602130763776
https://twitter.com/AlanaCalvert/status/1226795311755972609
If your friends are calling you a “human toddler”, you’re probably not marriage material.
“Michael the ‘human’ toddler” can we get the lab to look into that?#MAFS #mafsau #MAFSAUSTRALIA
— Annaliese Constable (@FistyScent) February 10, 2020
Not to mention, he literally said that the biggest hurdle for his future wife would be his… personality. Umm…. What?
Michael – “The biggest challenge for my future wife is my personality” – I know we saw it #MAFS #mafsau #MAFSAUSTRALIA pic.twitter.com/BkYLPpi20q
— Annaliese Constable (@FistyScent) February 10, 2020
I can only imagine Michael has an entire bookshelf full of Gary Vee books and likely listens to motivational speeches about how if you don’t seize the day, the day seizes you (or something like that).
But within a matter of seconds, he managed to brag about buying a million dollar house and liking fancy (*cough* ugly *cough*) watches.
Michael: ‘I could afford my own million-dollar property at 24 and have all these gold watches and date all these hot blondes…’ #MAFS pic.twitter.com/kyhAC6k0tW
— seapunk aesthete 💮 (@artpunkamor) February 10, 2020
That’s a ugly gold watch. Michael should buy another one just like it and throw them both into the rubbish bin.
— sachbrush (@sachbrush) February 10, 2020
Twitter really despised his shitty “Rolex.”
https://twitter.com/MichaelScalia86/status/1226789813585510400
I guarantee Michael doesn’t own a shirt with sleeves long enough to cover that god awful watch. #mafs
— Ben Shute (@Ben_Shute) February 10, 2020
But despite having the personality of a soggy bowl of cornflakes, Michael pointed out that he wants a good looking girl, but also expects her to have depth. Naturally, the internet called him the fuck out for this.
Michael if you want depth in a woman you need to develop some substance yourself. Plastic man!! #mafs #mafsau pic.twitter.com/Lx3dlEw4xc
— MCMxx (@suzannemcm) February 10, 2020
Most of us were immediately convinced that Stacey and Michael are a disaster waiting to happen.
Michael and Stacey are the car crash waiting to happen that I am here for #MAFS pic.twitter.com/kIJ0ExzQ4i
— Mr Minogue 🌈 (@mr_minogue) February 10, 2020
But others pointed out that they’d probably date a Michael themselves, which is probably a bad idea.
I’d date a Michael. Probably why I’m single… and explains my taste in men. #MAFS
— Abi (Taylor’s version) (@abilovestv) February 10, 2020
Let’s be real, Michael is definitely just a pseudonym and his real name is Chad.
Michael’s real name is Chad#MAFS #MAFSAU
— The Don’t Flatter Yourself Podcast (@TheDFYpodcast) February 10, 2020
I secretly wanted to hope that Stacey would fall in love with this fucking man-child, but then he ruined it by singing ‘Baby Shark’ at his wedding. Dude, what the fuck?
Just when you think he can’t do worse, Michael sings Baby Shark at the reception. 😒 #MAFS
— Isobel Ardent (@isobelardent) February 10, 2020
But of course, the fact that he’s a millionaire slightly changed the mood. She raised a valid point that this *probably* means there’s a serious side to him somewhere in there, or there’s just some cold, hard cash.
Stacey when she found out that Michael has money. #MAFS pic.twitter.com/LD39vHvx4i
— Ashlee (@_itsashleeee_) February 10, 2020
Considering Stacey is feeling the wrath of food poisoning (a point that Twitter seems to have forgotten at this point), I’m going to give her another chance and not completely rule her out as a gold-digger. If I had been chucking my guts up all night, I wouldn’t want to be marrying a man-child either.
*Ignores Michael*
*Finds out Michael’s rich*“Oh my god my walls are just so up, I’ve been so sick, I have an untapped childhood trauma that has in some way impacted my current social skills, like its just a weird day lol”#mafs #mafsau pic.twitter.com/59hg2SdWwO
— Ashleigh Taylor (@ashy_taylor) February 10, 2020
Stacey when she meets Michael vs Stacey when she realised Michael is rich #MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/xvueweIq4a
— Bridget (@staybridget) February 10, 2020
Will they last? Look, probably not. But maybe she’ll cop a Rolex or two, she sure as hell deserves one for dealing with his man-child behaviour.
