MAFS Australia is over for another year, and I think we can all agree that this season really had its fair share of horrible human behaviour.
As viewers, we either learned a fuck-ton, were personally confronted by their questionable behaviour, or simply sat there feeling better about our own existence. I’d like to think I was in the latter bucket.
Perhaps the only thing that makes the show able to air on primetime television? The MAFS experts. John Aiken, Mel Schilling and Alessandra Rampolla consistently took the experiment’s participants to task for their shitty behaviour – and thank all the fucks in the world for that.
That being said, there were times where they could’ve gone harder on these people (eg. Olivia in the finale), but keep reading to see the best times that the MAFS experts actually did their job and did it well.
1. Olivia’s lesson on empathy
The most controversial moment of the season was undoubtedly Olivia’s sharing of Domenica‘s OnlyFans photo behind her back. Before Olivia even got on the couch at the following commitment ceremony, John told the group that it was the “ugliest” dinner party he had ever witnessed. From the man himself, that’s saying something.
When Olivia and Jackson got to the couch, however, they were told by the MAFS experts that they look “miserable”. Alessandra then told Olivia that she has room for empathy and should apologise for what she did to Dom.
All this did was made Olivia realise she had no empathy, but it was a moment of validation for the rest of Australia, who had been questioning this exact thing all along.
2. Mitch getting told off for being a dismissive little shit who signed up to a reality show
Mitch, otherwise known as Baby Seal, shocked the nation when he kicked off his turtleneck-wearing phase. He wasn’t only dressing differently, he also started acting like a demon we weren’t previously aware of.
At one dinner party in particular, he started swearing at his angelic wife Ella, making her feel needy and insecure for wanting more reassurance from him in their relationship. “The delivery was brutal,” John told him at the following dinner party.
He tried to excuse himself by saying he can be “blunt sometimes” but the MAFS experts weren’t having any of it. They told him he was demeaning, condescending and dismissive.
But his ways didn’t stop there. Some weeks later Mitch discovered a newfound issue with public displays of affection, and showcasing his relationship on camera in general. A man who did naked handstands in the shower.
“You’ve come into a really public experiment, for someone who likes their privacy,” Mel told him, reminding him that he did in fact sign up to be on TV. The Captain Obvious areas was equally patronising and amazing.
Which leads me to my next takedown.
3. John telling everyone to suck it up
When Mitch tried to explain how much pressure the experiment was having on his relationship with Ella, John assured Mitch that using that as an excuse for relationship problems is 100% a copout – and then told the entire group to…
“SUCK IT UP.”
They all laughed it off at the time because approximately 6/99 couples on this show have actually been successful. But Resting John Face assured them he was dead-serious, saying that their relationship will be a walk in the park if they make it through this first.
4. The ultimate Carolina takedown
Carolina was a stain on this show, thanks mainly to the torment she put Dion through – all while hooking up with another husband, Daniel, behind his back.
First, Mel told her how nasty she was, especially after a comment she made about laughing at Dion rather than with him. Then John pulled out his note book after watching her at the dinner party the night before.
He demanded she listen while he speaks, before he listed out all the reasons Dion thought she couldn’t bond with Dion – including the fact that he doesn’t eat breakfast, hasn’t struggled in his life and doesn’t eat breakfast. He proceeded to remind her how superficial that makes her.
Carolina also consistently tried to justify her actions with the fact that she was a Latino woman, something that Alessandra decided she’d no longer sit back and take at the same commitment ceremony.
“I was, I think, even a little personally insulted with you trying to justify such nastiness on being Latina – as if Latina women are disrespectful,” Alessandra told her.
“As a Latina woman, I can tell you we are of course very feisty and very passionate – never ever disrespectful and nasty and demeaning. I’m not going to accept that as a representation of Latina women. I’ll say that right now.”
Diva tried to explain that English is her second language, but again, Alessandra didn’t want to hear it. “Yes it’s my second language too. I’m sorry but no. Don’t even go there.” She then reminded her that nowhere in the world – not here and not in Brazil – would Carolina’s behaviour be the right way to find love.
5. Alessandra’s rapid-fire normalisation of period sex
Period sex was the conversation on everyone’s vaginal lips early on in the season. “I’m menstruating, and I was horny. And I think that freaked Jack out,” our Princess Bogan of the poiple declared during her couch-counselling session with husband Jack.
In one of the more childish moments I’ve seen on this show (and if you’ve seen the whole season, you’ll know that’s truly saying something) is how plenty of the participants in the room proceeded to giggle over this.
“It’s interesting that a lot of the men look very uncomfortable,” Alessandra pointed out. “We’re not in grade school, you guys.”
Sure, it wasn’t a major takedown on one particular wife or husband, but it was a friendly reminder on removing the taboo around anything as normal as having a menstrual cycle. I personally loved it.
6. Selin getting called out for attacking Anthony’s vulnerability
When Regular Daddy Anthony revealed that his turdy wife Selin called him a “princess” and a “cry baby” for expressing his feelings and vulnerability, it pissed us viewers right off. She was reinforcing the traits of toxic masculinity that we’ve worked so hard as a society to deviate from.
Selin smiled through the retelling, only to be taken to town by not one – but all three of the MAFS experts. “That’s not funny,” Mel told her quite matter-of-factly. “That’s really demeaning,” Mel continued. Selin tried to justify it by saying she shouldn’t use the word “princess” in the “real world”.
“He’s showing vulnerability which is one of the most courageous things you can do in a relationship,” Mel explained to her. “He’s stepping up and doing that, and you’re hitting him down each time he does it.”
Selin tried to justify her actions again by saying that “‘’princess’ is a bit too far for him.” That’s when John jumped in. “Not just for him!”
But it didn’t stop there! The MAFS experts continued to get up Selin for throwing Anthony under the bus at the dinner party the night before. She basically rallied up her troops and made everyone’s minds up about Anthony before he even arrived.
“If you want someone to like you, how do you treat them?” Alessandra probed Selin at the commitment ceremony. “Basics! Start there.” It was a beautiful moment to see a grown-ass women get a lesson in basic common decency from fellow grown-ass adults.
7. Alessandra teaching Deep South Daddy Andrew some tact
There was once a Texan father, named Andrew, on this show who was hellbent on telling Australia how good he was at coitus. He told his wife, Holly, that he has the “right equipment” to be good at sex, but that his sexual experience with her was worse than a one night stand.
The audacity and public humiliation sent the country into a tailspin, and, in particular, Alessandra. When Andrew tried to justify his comment on the importance of honesty, our queen wasn’t having it. “You say things that are hurtful and you don’t care?” Alessandra asked him.
“You can still be honest, and not hurtful. You can be honest and can be kind. You can be honest and be mindful of the human you have next to you that you know is making an effort.”
“Being inconsiderate and rude with the way that you say things, with the excuse that you’re just being honest, I’m gonna call you out on it every single time,” Alessandra schooled him.
8. Daniel and Carolina being refused entry back into the experiment
When Daniel and Carolina announced their secret relationship by walking into a commitment ceremony hand in hand, everyone lost their shit. No one knew why they’d do such a thing, but it soon became clear that the pair wanted to continue in the experiment together.
This lead to most of the participants walking out of the commitment ceremony in disgust, as well as a resounding NOPE from the MAFS experts.
“There is absolutely no way we’re going to allow you to re enter the experiment as a new couple,” John swiped at the couple. The room clapped the remark, as did all of the country watching at home. I imagine. He then continued to tell Carolina that he is appalled by her behaviour, especially as she has experienced cheating firsthand.
To wrap things up, Alessandra refused to give them any relationship advice as she reserves that only for couples who are actually part of this experiment.