Tonight’s episode of MAFS has really kicked all the drama, debates and opinions into second gear, but, for now, I simply do not care.

All I truly care about is the inclusion of this Riddler shirt.

Yes, this one, in which David kindly agreed to model.

I haven’t seen it on the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week runway as of yet, but I also don’t doubt its potential to get there.

Put simply, it was a choice.

Now, let me start off by saying I’m certainly not one to yuck someone’s yum. I also believe that everyone should wear whatever makes them feel good – and judging by the above screenshots, David feels good. It’s just… I simply became intrigued by the shirt and what purpose it served in this world. Where did it come from? Who would wear this shirt in the future? At what events would this shirt thrive?

I simply needed to know more about this shirt. Not to spread hate, not to throw shade, but to expand my knowledge about green garments with big question marks all over them.

And just like that, I was horny for the truth – I immediately chucked on my metaphorical deep-dive glasses and went to Googlin’.

First hit? A unisex, lycra bodysuit, titled “The Riddler Adult Costume Body Suit Spandex Batman Forever Villain Jim Carrey” from eBay. (That title is me in school when I had 100 words left to reach the word count but nothing left to say.) AU $66.47 + AU $46.12 postage. Close, but no cigar.

My first thought: finding David’s shirt is going to be harder than first anticipated. My second thought: I wish I was on the set of this modelling shoot.

“It’ll be great for the portfolio,” they said.
“It’ll do wonders for your exposure,” they said.

This ultimately led me down the costume route, with this blazer moment from Costume Super Center below being the closest costume-y garment to David’s now-notorious shirt.

Still, I was unsatisfied – literally all results were costume-based, probably due to my inclusion of ‘Riddler’ in the search.

So I slightly pivoted.

And that’s when I discovered an absolute goldmine of question mark tees that I will continue to think about once a day for the next 7 years.

Yes, the tee is most likely referring to the Beatles‘ “Happiness Is a Warm Gun”, but, in my initial state of confusion, I gasped at the odd choice of words and punctuation marks being thrown together on one tee. To be honest, I still do – it’ll be equally perplexing for those who don’t get the Beatles connection. Like, are you asking me to finish the sentence or are you questioning happiness’ temperature in Google-translated broken English?

I could talk about this for hours. I shall refrain. Let’s move on.

This one’s stunning. It capitalises on the current trend of everyone writing ‘period’ instead of ‘.’, but this takes it one step further. J’adore how this phrase demands answers from those around the garment-wearer, with an equally voracious thirst for justice.

It’d also be a great tee to wear at work – you could literally just sit in silence all day and, when anyone tells you to do something, simply turn to face their direction and let the shirt do the talking.

It wasn’t long until this sassy little number barged into my existence…

And then I couldn’t stop. It was like a drug. I had to keep looking at marketplaces dedicated solely to supplying t-shirts with question marks on them.

Me: I won’t have anxiety today. My brain:

And that’s when things started to go way off…

These quote tees have really seen some shit, huh?

What was the point of this deep-dive, again?

Oh, that MAFS Riddler shirt on David.

Yep, still have no idea. I’ve kind of lost interest now.

At least I’ve learned that happiness is warm.

Image: Channel 9 / GosnoldStreetStudio