On MAFS last night, many things happened. You can read all about them in my recap, but to make it succinct – Hayley and David had a fight. Ivan and Aleks had a fight. Hayley and Ivan had a fight. Hayley had a fight with herself (probably).
But underneath all the draaaaaama and past-season Alice McCall dresses, some tiny, insignificant-seeming moments went down. But really, they are of the greatest importance. When people go rogue in subtle, under-the-radar ways, we must be vigilant in addressing their chaos.
Like Chris, who walked into last night’s MAFS dinner party throwing this bullshit up into the air:
WHAT. THE FUCK. IS THAT. You might think it looks like I froze the guy mid-wave. You’d be wrong – he flicks those three fingers up, then down. The end. That’s it. Unacceptable.
I’ve been bothered by this hand signal all day. “Sounds like you don’t have much of a job!” I hear you say. I mean, this is what I do for a job. I think about these things so you don’t HAVE TO, OK?
I enlisted the rest of the non-MAFS watching office to help me get to the bottom of this. Here’s what we’ve whittled it down to.
1. A Peace Sign
Okay, let’s start with the most obvious answer. Chris here just doesn’t know how to throw up a good peace sign. Maybe he went to do a wave and then segued into a peace sign, before realising the error of his ways?
The issue here is the thumb, to me. If you’re throwing a PEEEEACE, you would never, ever have your thumb out.
2. Finger Guns
There’s definitely more of a vibe of finger guns than peace sign, in my opinion. The thumb is raised, for starters. The index and middle finger, pointed straight as the back of a Ye Olde child who is facing the cane.
But…. the other two fingers. They’re all akimbo. It’s all wrong here, folks. This isn’t how you finger gun, SURELY.
3. A Wave
Okay, third most-obvious – a wave. Like I said, it seems like he’s waving and I’ve caught him in the middle, but he never moved his hand side to side or extended those other two fingers, I swear it.
4. Shooter McGavin
This came from my colleague Chantelle, and scored a whopping 9 agreements from other people we work with. Shooter does often use one hand to make a finger gun, and we can see his ring and pinky do pop up. But, ahhh, I don’t know. Just doesn’t seem like what Chris was going for.
Okay, so you know when you walk into a room (please no one do this) and you sort of point lazily at your mates and go “ayyyyyy”? There’s no flex to your fingers, no effort put in. A simple flop up on the hand in the direction of your pals. To be honest, my colleague Matt who suggested this answer didn’t expand beyond “ayyyy”, but that’s how I took it.
Also, he’s wrong.
6. Truckie Hello
My colleague Courtney suggested this: “It looks like the two finger wave from a tradie/truckie/driver but…without the steering wheel.”
Look, she’s not wrong. It does very much look like that finger-tip hello truck drivers and outback folks do to oncoming cars. Something there should be more of on city streets, in my eyes.
However, do people hold invisible steering wheels when saying hello? I think not.
7. Pistol Whip
My colleague David is fundamentally unhinged. He also came up with my favourite suggestion: “a wave, for sure, but also finger guns. I do it often. I call it the pistol whip.”
Let’s go with that, hey?