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I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that the MAFS marriage between Bryce Ruthven and Melissa Rawson has been an absolute shitshow from day dot, and with the groom still on the fence about the relationship, you’d think there’d be no future at all for them after the show wraps, right?

Well in a recent episode of the So Dramatic! podcast, it was revealed that the pair are still together as Bryce was spotted in Melissa’s hometown of Somerville.

Apparently Bryce Ruthven has been telling his mates that he’s only staying with Melissa for, as So Dramatic! put it, “damage control” ‘cos he comes off as such an asshole on the show.

Meanwhile an anonymous contestant wrote in to the poddy, claiming that Bryce is just staying with Melissa to keep the fame gig going, to repair his image, and to live rent-free.

Since it appears to be a relationship of convenience, I assumed that things would surely be on the downward spiral soon, but a new report via New Idea claims that they’re actually taking things to the next step by getting hitched IRL and seriously, what the fuck?

A mate spoke to the publication, claiming that their engagement is “imminent.”

“It’s clear that they are very much in love and are happy,” the source told the mag, which absolutely conflicts with what we’re currently seeing on-screen, plus what a bunch of other sources have said (including a fellow MAFS contestant who recently said that the whole thing is a sham).

The unidentified pal added that their engagement announcement will come after the show ends next month, which certainly fits in with the theory that Bryce is staying with Melissa for ~clout~. Plus, apparently Bryce is gunning for a televised media wedding spesh, á la Jules Robinson and Cameron Merchant, which sounds about right.

But here’s where it gets particularly suss, the sOuRcE added that Bryce Ruthven and Melissa Rawson have “completely won over” each other’s families, and that Bryce is v. different IRL than he is on-screen, which literally no one on earth would say but Bryce.

“[Bryce] is incredibly lovable and has definitely impressed Mel’s family,” says the fRiEnD. Him? Lovable? I call mad BS on that.

MAFS continues tonight at 7:30pm on Nine.